Love's Such an Old Fashioned Word
by That Buggy Girl
Summary: Sojiro's met the girl of his dreams, but he's having trouble popping the question. When some wacky friends decide to help, things just get more complicated...(asked-for sequel to HSYWYS?)
1. To the World I Left Behind

**So, this is a continuation of "He Sees You When You're Sleeping?" It takes place about five years later and focuses on the romance between Sojiro and Natsutsuki Harusame, Chibi-Tenken's original character. Some old friends, some newer ones and a little girl with two 'mamas' get together to explore another holiday created by the West.**  
  
@}--,--'---  
  
February First, 17th year of the Meiji.  
  
  
  
"Harusame! Harusame!" Sonomi poked around the Natsutsuki house, looking for her friend. She had a piece of paper clutched in her hand and she wanted to show it to Harusame.   
  
"She's outside, Sonomi-san!" Sojiro called from upstairs, "She's clearing away the slush."  
  
Sonomi smiled. Leave it to Sojiro to know where Harusame was. He had been sweet on her since the day they met and they were slow at developing their relationship, which drove Sonomi wild. This is the reasoning behind her search for the younger woman in the first place. "Thanks, Sojiro!" She yelled back to him. Then she turned on her heal to go find Harusame.  
  
The girl was outside on the front walk, sweeping the slush from the cobbled path, humming to herself and swaying a little as she moved the broom. "_Little by little the night turns around / Counting the leaves which tremble at dawn / Lotuses lean on each other in yearning / Under the eaves the swallow is resting..._"  
  
"Oi, Harusame!" She called to her friend.  
  
She stopped sweeping, "What's up, Sonomi?"  
  
"Look." She waved the paper under her friend's nose.  
  
"What's this?" She caught hold of it, scanning it quickly. "Well then..."  
  
"I guess what we all thought would never happen has happened." Sonomi said pointedly.  
  
"It happened three years ago and no one told us!" Harusame exclaimed, waving her arms around, the paper fluttering wildly. "I can't believe this! They were supposed to tell us! They were supposed to write! And they never did!"  
  
"Well, they must've been pretty busy."  
  
"I cannot believe this...She must look just like him! I want to go...She must be so cute!" The young woman squealed, "I'm so happy for them! This is great. We can go, right? You want to and so will Sou, right?"  
  
"Calm down. Of course we can. But the springs will be busy while we're there. It'll be on Valentine's Day." She said slyly, "You and Sojiro don't have plans already?"  
  
Harusame colored. "N-no..." She stammered, "No plans. Sou and I never plan anything...Stuff just happens."  
  
"Okay. I'll go write to Kamatari then." Sonomi nodded, "And tell them that we're coming."  
  
"Right. I still can't believe it." The young woman took the broom again and began to sweep once more, "A little girl...Three years old."  
  
Sonomi hurried back into the house, running over to Harusame's desk. She pulled out a piece of paper, bottle of ink and a brush.  
_  
...We'll be by for your little get together. Make sure you have a romantic room set up for Sojiro and Harusame. Their relationship is going nowhere and we should help them along a little. They obviously love each other, but neither one of them is doing anything about it. You've got to help me out. It will be Valentine's day when we're at your house. See you soon!  
  
-Akikumo Sonomi_  
  
Then she found an envelope and addressed it.  
_  
Honjou Kamatari  
Aoiroten-onsan  
Kobe, Japan_  
  
Sticking the letter in the envelope, she smiled to herself. If any one could help her, it would be Kamatari. He understood the mind of both a man and a woman. He was somewhat romantic -they all remembered how he had been at the time of his marriage to Gesshoku- and he was an upbeat, optimistic man.  
  
She rose from her seat, looking out the window where her unsuspecting friend was dancing around with the broom again. She could hear Harusame singing again, her voice drifting through the courtyard.  
  
"_Over the mountain watching the watcher / Breaking the darkness / Waking the grapevine / One inch of love is one inch of shadow / Love is the shadow that ripens the wine..._"  
  
Sonomi grinned. Her friends had no clue what was about to happen to them.  
  
@}--,--'---  
**  
Cultural note about Valentine's Day (Sei Barentain no Shukujitsu): Valentine's Day is celebrated in Japan on Feb 14th, just like here. However, women are the ones who give chocolates to men. It may be an act of affection, or it could just be a case of giving candy to a male coworker, which is known as "duty chocolate" (giri-choco).   
  
[Info Source: _The Anime Companion: What's Japanese in Japanese Animation by Gilles Poitras._]   
  
Oh, and I know that's probably not how you address and envelope on Japan, but I'm not all-mighty and I don't know ^^;;**  
  
  



	2. I Can Change the World in You

****

Um, I should probably mention…The song Harusame was singing is a song called "Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun" by Pink Floyd (On the "Saucerful of Secrets" album, which I sadly didn't get for Xmas *sniffles* or also available on "Echoes" which my brother owns and I have a copy of and that's how I know it's such a good song.) . I just had her sing it because I like it. T'is a good song, that. ^_^

@}--,--'---

February 4th

"Gessh? Mail's here."

Honjou Kamatari riffled through the letters that had just arrived. Most of them were for his mother-in-law, who still ran the Aoiroten-onsan, despite the fact that her daughter's family hardly ever left any more. There was a letter for Gesshoku from her sister and -surprise surprise- something addressed to him.

He turned the envelope over in his hand, wondering who it was from. Then he wandered back into the house, calling for his wife. "You got a letter from your sister, Gessho!"

"Nissho wrote to me?!" She came running, her hakama flapping. Gesshoku looked as she had five years ago when they married, the same short brown hair, tomboyish clothing and loud personality. 

Motherhood had not changed her.

"You'd better quiet down, Darling, or you'll wake up Kietsu." He reminded her softly, a smile on his face.

She clapped a hand over her mouth. "Gomen." She said sheepishly.

He laughed as she fished in her sleeves for the glasses she so vehemently hated. He knew, despite the fact she was always apologizing for her exuberance and he was always telling her not to be so loud, she would never be able to quiet down. Her loudness was a part of who she was and it was one of the reasons he loved her.

They had been married on Christmas Eve five years prior, when the date for their arranged marriage rolled around. Both had been reluctant to enter into the union, despite their friendship and the great love they had for one another, but they had married none-the-less and were quite happy with it.

"It's okay, my darling, but it would be best to let her finish her nap or she'll be cranky." He spoke affectionately of their little daughter, then nearly three years old. She was a pretty little thing, looked a lot like her father, happy and joyous. They hadn't meant to have her. One thing had led to another and she was a sort of surprise. She had been born on Valentine's Day, they loved her, and her name was Kietsu.

"She'd be cranky anyway." The young woman pointed out.

"Of course she would. She's got your disposition." He teased, his slender fingers tickling her under the chin.

She giggled, sticking out her tongue at him as she tore open her letter. Then her face clouded over as she read it. "Oh…"

"What's the matter, Darling?" He questioned, his expression becoming one of concern. His wife looked upset and that could only mean something bad had happened with Nisshoku.

"She doesn't think she'll be able to make it for the little one's birthday." She sounded dismayed. The twins weren't the best of friends, but they had been getting along better the past five years and Kietsu loved her aunt. "The baby is going to be so upset."

"Don't fret over it. She didn't say she definitely won't be here, did she? There's still a chance. Besides, I have good news. I got a letter from Sonomi." He brandished the letter, holding it in front of her face.

"Sonomi? Are they coming?" Her eyes lit up, "We haven't seen them at all in nearly four years." She exclaimed excitedly.

"Sure they're coming." He said mirthfully, "And we get to have some fun. Sonomi says our boy Sojiro is having a little trouble asking Harusame a certain question. She wants our help to speed things up and create a romantic atmosphere."

"Romantic, hmm?" She smiled impishly, "You're not romantic."

"I'm not?" He looked hurt, "What do you mean I'm not?" Tucking the letter safely in the sleeve of his yukata, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately, leaving her both breathless and quite flushed. "How's that for romance?"

"…" She blushed deeply, still unbelieving that she was married to the strange man she adored so. There was nothing she could say to that; she was too flustered.

"That's what I thought." He grinned and she knew he was teasing again. He was such a unique person; she knew in her heart he was neither a man as nature intended or a woman as he wished to be. He was no more than a free spirit. He still dressed occasionally as a woman, but not in front of Kietsu, for he didn't want to confuse her. He hadn't worn a kimono in public since the child had been born.

She reached up and kissed him again. "Mama will be calling us for supper soon. I'll go get Kietsu up."

Kamatari watched fondly as his wife scampered from the room. Sometimes it all seemed like a dream to him, the fact that he was so happy. His life had fallen apart when Shishio-sama died and he never thought things would go on after that. It wasn't until the year he spent with Gessho preceding their marriage that he realized what true contentment was. There had been restless longing with Shishio, sadness, emptiness and a broken heart. Gessho was love and tenderness; excitement and all joy. Their bond ran deep, all the way from childhood, and she was the only girl he had ever considered being a man for.

He truly loved her.

He knew Harusame and Sojiro loved one another as he loved Gesshoku. He wanted to see them just as happy as they were and would gladly help Sonomi out. He wanted all their dreams fulfilled, for he felt every one should be as happy as he was. Thus, he wanted this to be the best Valentine's Day ever, so they would have no excuse not to get married.

Humming to himself, he ambled off down the hall to see what was for dinner.

@}--,--'---

Sojiro stared out the window of the train car. The last time they had been on the way to the Aoiroten family hot springs, there had been an air of doom about them. This time, Harusame and Sonomi were chatting happily, blissfully unaware of the young rurôni's dilemma.

He had been trying to figure out for a year how he could ask Harusame to be his wife.

She was everything he wanted in a wife and more; young, pretty, outgoing and forgiving. She knew everything there was to know about his tragic past and cared for him still. She was always ready for another adventure. But most of all, she had taken him in and given him a reason to truly be happy. She had given him hope.

Sonomi was always prodding the two of them about when they would get married. She made it sound so easy, his proposing to her, but she simply didn't understand his shyness. He had always hid everything behind that cheerful smile, including his nervousness and his fear. Neither of them knew.

He was terrified.

"What's the little girl's name?" Harusame asked for a millionth time, dragging Sojiro from his thoughts.

"Kietsu." Sonomi replied, "And she'll be three soon. So they want to have a little party for her and show her off. That's the impression I got from Kamatari's letter, at least."

Sojiro listened curiously. He remembered his own thoughts the morning his friends got married. He had been pondering the idea that they might have a child; the two had been plenty in love and he hadn't doubted there would be an heir to the hot springs. It only surprised him that it took them two years to have her.

"Sojiro," Harusame slid over next to him and he blushed lightly, "Are you excited? We haven't seen Kamatari or Gesshoku in so long."

"Sure, I'm excited." He smiled his characteristic smile and she grinned back, "Kamatari has always been nice to me and he's a good friend. And I would really like to see the child he and Gesshoku-san have produced. She probably look a lot like her father."

"I bet. He must love taking care of her. He must love getting her dressed up like a little doll. I wonder how disappointed he would have been if they had a son instead of a daughter."

Sojiro laughed, brushing his dark hair from his eyes. "I would feel sorry for any son of his. It's better that they have a little girl, what with his strange feminine habits and all."

"Do…Do you suppose you'll ever want to have any children, Sojiro?" She asked hurriedly, her face flaming scarlet.

__

Only with you…He was silent for a moment, then smiled the goofy grin again. "Of course I would like children someday, Harusame. But who would ever want to marry a wretch like me?"

She bit her lip in attempt to keep herself from blurting out 'I would!' She was afraid he would laugh at her if she said that. "I…I'm sure some one would. You never know until you ask." She blushed, if possible, even redder.

Sonomi rolled her eyes. The two of them were such a joke. Couldn't the just get over themselves and admit they wanted to be together? Couldn't they just get married already? It was driving her insane.

@}--,--'---

"Mama?" 

"What is it, Dear?" Aoiroten Kumori looked at her younger daughter. Spirited Gesshoku, the wild twin, married and a mother. It pleased Kumori to see her daughter settled down and content with her life.

"Our friends are coming for Kietsu's birthday. Can you make sure to reserve the special room for Harusame and Sojiro?" Gessho asked between bites of food. She had given Kamatari the task of making sure their little daughter ate her food -Kietsu was somewhat picky- and was ignoring his complaining as the child threw food at him.

"The special room?" Kumori's eyebrows rose, causing her patrician features to look even harder than usual, "What are you up to, Child?"

"Nothing, Mama." She smiled slyly, "We just want them to have a nice time together and relax a little. Sonomi can stay in the room she and Harusame shared the last time they were here."

A trace of a smile crossed Kumori's face at the mention of 'last time.' The last time her daughter and her friends had all been together was that fateful Christmas Eve when Gesshoku and Kamatari had been married. "And your sister? Will she be here?"

Gessho frowned slightly, looking down at the cup of tea in her hands. "She doesn't think she'll make it home on time."

"Nani?" Kietsu looked up, flinging a piece of fish at her father in the process. "Oba-san not coming?" Her eyes widened and tears threatened to fall.

"I'm sorry, Sweetie, but-" Gessho began, but she was cut off as the little girl burst into tears.

"Whhhhhhy? Mama, why?" She sniffled, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. She loved Nisshoku and hardly ever saw her. 

Kamatari took immediate control of the situation. He pulled Kietsu into his lap and hugged her, brushing back her thin hair. "Don't cry, Little Lady. Your aunt loves you very much, but sometimes she's very far away. It takes a long time for her to come back from where she's gone."

"But Papa…" She wiped her nose on her sleeve, "But Papa…" Her voice wavered and she hiccupped, beginning to cry again. She was so like her mother, crying passionately when things did not go her way.

"Shhh…It's okay, Honey. Just remember that Oba-san loves you." He planted a kiss on her forehead, "And Mama and I love you too."

Still sniffling, she buried her face in the front of his silk yukata, clutching his sleeve. He hugged her tightly, rocking her in his arms, his face buried in her silky hair. He loved the little girl; she was so precious to him. He never thought he would have been a father. Even after marrying Gessho, he never would have thought he would have a child.

Kumori watched as Kamatari calmed her grandchild. As strange as her son-in-law was, he was good to her daughter and their child. She had never seen him raise a hand in anger at either of them and he was a positive influence on Kietsu. He always had the energy to play with her, he was patient with her non-stop questions and he was always just as excited about the little things as she was.

"You're going to make some new friends, Kietsu." Kamatari told the child softly, "Friends of Mama and I are coming to see you for your birthday. We're going to have fun."

"New friends?" She wiped her eyes again and stuck her thumb in her mouth.

"That's right, Honey. New friends." He smiled down at her and she grinned back up at him, her thumb still in her mouth. She looked so much like him, with his same hair, eyes and facial expressions. She was dressed that day in a little blue kimono, her hair combed neatly out of her face. Beautiful child.

"An' I gonna get presents, just like at Christmas?"

"Yup. Because it's your special day."

"Yay!" She clapped her little hands excitedly, causing all three adults to smile. Valentine's Day had never been cause for a big celebration, save for Kietsu's birthday. The couple always made a big deal out of Christmas, it being the holiday which brought them together.

This year, however, they would do Valentine's Day right.


	3. He Wanted to Believe In the Hands of Lov...

****

I have the greatest little sissy on the face of the earth. My online sissy and I exchanged Christmas gifts this year and she sent me the Rurôni Kenshin Director's Cut CD. She is the coolest! I sent her something that I think is equally cool, a deck or Kenshin playing cards. Glad you like them, Sissy! ^_^

@}--,--'---

February 5th

"Hey, come on, let's shop a bit, hmm?" 

Sonomi stretched in the cool morning sunlight. After sitting on the train for so long, her muscles and joints were all stiff. She was putting her plan in motion, however, Harusame had virtually no feminine clothes and she knew that none of her things were suitable to wear at a hot spring.

"I just want to get there already." Harusame countered impatiently, "I'm dying to see this kid. She must be the only child in Kobe with two mamas."

"You don't have anything to wear."

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?!"

"You look like a little boy in that get-up. You need something more mature. You cannot wear that at a hot spring…You need a nice yukata." Sonomi folded her arms across her chest. Her mouth was set in a firm line and her eyes were full of a certain stubbornness one could only see from Akikumo Sonomi.

"No!" Harusame exclaimed, "Never! What I have is fine, right, Sojiro?"

The young man's eyes widened ever-so-slightly and he took a step back. Both girls were glaring at him and he wasn't sure quite what to say to them. "Now now…Harusame, you look very lovely in that." He said slowly, "But perhaps Sonomi is right…If we're going to a hot spring, you should have a nice yukata to wear."

"Oh, all right! You people will be the death of me…I hate clothes shopping…" She grumbled.

Sonomi smirked. She knew that her friend would do as Sojiro suggested, simply because she was happy keeping him happy. She laughed to herself. This was going to be too easy. "Come on; this way. There's a nice shop not too far from here…" She grabbed her friend by the arm and dragged her off, Sojiro following behind them.

@}--,--'---

Gesshoku had helped Kietsu get dressed. For the past half a year, the little girl had been insistent that she could do it herself, but she still got tangled up in her clothes on occasion and required the help of one or the other of her parents.

"Papa!"

Kamatari looked up, watching fondly as his wife and their daughter wander down the hall together, hand in hand. He had been shuffling through a letter from his mother that was several pages long and bored him to no end. Aika was a woman of gossip and she felt it her duty to spread the gossip, so the letter was nothing more than a series of stories about neighbors Kamatari could only half-recall.

"Papa!" Kietsu ran to him and he grinned, scooping her up into his arms. She hugged him tightly, kissed him on the cheek, then fought her way down to the ground. "Do I look pretty today?" She twirled around, displaying her outfit. So like her mother.

"Beautiful, Little Lady." He patted her on the head, then looked up at Gessho. "Good morning, Darling." He leaned over, kissing her softly, and she smiled in return.

Kietsu looked up at her parents, clutching a few of her father's fingers. She knew Papa had lots of names for her, but "Darling" was the special one reserved for Mama. She knew Papa and Mama acted differently towards one another than most other Papas and Mamas, but she wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was the way they looked at each other, or the way they were so open with one another, or perhaps it was something deeper. Little Kietsu was too young to understand.

"Mama…Outside." She begged.

"Breakfast first, Sweetie." Gessho told her, "Now come on, Grandmother is waiting for us." She took the little girl up in her arms, "And what do we say when we see Grandmother?"

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Obasan." Kietsu chirped obediently.

"Good girl. And what do you do…?"

A soft smile crossed Kamatari's face as he watched his wife and their daughter. He remembered vividly how Gessho had reacted to the discovery that they were to have Kietsu and he was glad her attitude regarding the child had changed.

__

"Kamatari…Kamatari." 

"What's wrong, Koishii?" She'd come to him sniffling one day, her face red from crying, and he'd pulled her into his arms, hugging her gently, wondering what had upset her so. She'd buried her face in his chest, still sobbing.

"It's terrible…" Her voice was muffled by the silk of his kimono. It was a beautiful summer day; they'd been married nearly two and a half years and they were outside Tokyo. Gessho hadn't been feeling well, but she had chalked it up to a lack of proper food over the past few days. They had been on the road for about a week and had just stopped in a village.

"What's terrible?" He rubbed her back, speculating over what had her so distressed. 

"We're having a baby!" She sobbed.

"A what?" He blinked, wondering if he'd heard correctly. She was…pregnant?

"A baby…"

"Isn't that a good thing, Darling?" He asked softly, unsure just why she was so distraught over this. He didn't see what was bad about it, in fact, the news rather pleased him. He would be happy to be a father and take care of a child.

"No! It ruins everything! We'll have to go home now. We can't go dragging a baby all over the place. It wouldn't be right. But I don't want to go home…I don't want a baby, Kamatari. I'm not ready yet. You said when I was ready…" She dissolved into fresh tears, her face once again pressed up against his chest.

"I know you're not ready yet. But we talked about this. Nature doesn't care if you're ready or not, Darling, and we're going to have to deal with it, whether or not you want a baby. We did 'that' and this is the consequence." He hugged her tightly, his chin rested on her head.

"But…But I'm not ready…" She whispered.

"Well, ready or not…We're going to love this baby, Koishii. And we're going to be wonderful parents. You'll see. It won't be so bad. We can still travel for a while; take our time going home. Don't cry; everything will be okay."  


A slight nod was her only response. She had been so happy; so free. Now a baby…it would tie them down, force them to stay at home. She didn't hate the baby. It wasn't its fault; it didn't ask to be born. But the simple fact was…She didn't want a child.

"Kamatari?" 

"Hmm?" He blinked, snapping back to reality. 

Kumori was looking at him, a peculiar look on her face. She was constantly trying to decipher the other-worldly expressions on her son-in-law's face, wondering what was running through his mind. She knew he was a quirky man with homosexual tendencies, and looks like that made her ill at ease. "I asked when your friends are supposed to be coming."

"Oh, sometime today, Kumori-san." He replied cheerfully, brushing back a strand of his hair. "Sonomi said they'd be around after they did a little shopping."

"Shopping?" Gessho looked at him sharply, "Who's shopping? Not Harusame. She hates shopping."

"Oh yes. Sonomi thinks she intimidates Sojiro by her boyishness. She wants to get her looking a little more feminine. She was going to con our young friend into shopping one way or another."

"Sonomi is quite clever. If any one could get Harusame to dress up, it would be her." A sly smile crossed Gessho's face as she lifted her tea cup to her lips, "I suppose Harusame and I are similar in the fact that neither of us like to dress up the way we should."

"You're getting better about it, Darling. You don't fight with me about kimonos any more and besides, some one has to wear them now that I'm not any more." He winked at her, then looked over at Kietsu, "Eat, Sweetie."

"I don't like it." She folded her arms, wrinkling up her little nose.

"If you don't eat it, you don't get to go outside." He threatened, shaking a finger at her. Normally, Kietsu had him wrapped around her little finger, but when it came to mealtimes he was all business.

She pouted for a moment, then began to eat, taking slow, laborious bites, making horrid faces as she chewed. They still weren't sure why exactly she was so picky; both of them ate nearly anything placed before them.

"I have to go into Kyoto today, Dear." Kumori addressed her daughter, "Would you please do the dishes and some laundry."

"Oh…I was going to take the baby outside. I suppose that will have to wait." The young woman sighed.

Kamatari smiled at her. "No, you go out with the little lady. I'll take care of the chores. You don't spend as much time with her as I do." He would do anything for the happiness of his wife and daughter; anything at all. Without them, life would be incredibly dull and lonely. Kietsu had been the best mistake he ever made.

"Really?" She looked up, her eyes hopeful.

"For you, Darling, anything." He assured her. Getting on with life had been tough but he was comfortable with where he was at that point. He owed Gessho a lot. She had been supportive of him and loved him, even when he could not love her back. And, oh, her patience had paid off for her in the end. He had a sudden urge to take her back to bed right then and he cursed his uncooperative male body. He did love her, but he considered himself above lust and hated when his body said otherwise. Lust had been for Shishio-sama. One does not lust after one's own wife.

"Thank you." She smiled happily, then looked over at Kietsu. "Are you done eating, Sweetie?"

"A'most." The girl chirped. She had a few bites left and knew she couldn't leave the table until she cleaned her plate.

"Good girl." Gessho rose to her feet to take her dishes back to the kitchen. Kietsu was done eating when she returned and the child hoped up, ready to go outside. "Go get your haori and we'll go out."

"Yay!" She scampered out the door and down the hall.

Her parents smiled after her, pleased by how joyful their baby was. Gessho turned to her husband. "Don't work too hard, Kamatari." She bent to kiss him and he pulled her down, returning the kiss furiously. She held his face in her hands as they kissed a third time.

Kumori didn't even bat an eye as this went on, just continued reading her newspaper. She had gotten used to the open displays of affection over the past three years, even though they were not something commonly accepted in polite society. Her daughter cherished that unusual man immensely and they were shamelessly loving with one another.

Kietsu came running back into the room, dragging her pink haori behind her. She stopped a few steps after crossing the threshold, gaping at her parents. She had never seen any other adults so passionate with one another as her mama and papa. This is how she knew they weren't like other mamas and papas, even if she didn't understand this knowledge. "Le's go, Mama." 

Gessho drew back from Kamatari, her hand lingering on her cheek. "I'll see you later." Then she turned to Kietsu. "All right, Sweetie. Let's go explore."

"Hai!" Kietsu's little head bobbed up and down and she put her hand in her mother's, pulling her towards the door.

@}--,--'---

"It'll look great on you, Harusame." 

"Yeah, right."

"Really. You've got to start dressing more like a girl or you'll never get a husband."

"Maybe I don't want a husband, Sonomi."

Sojiro frowned. His two companions had been bickering back and forth all day and it was driving him crazy. Normally, it took a lot to rile the boy. He wasn't easily rattled. But the two of them…He was frightened of them both. He wished they would stop arguing and that Sonomi would stop goading Harusame about getting married. That annoyed him because he knew she was talking about him and Harusame.

"You should want a husband."

"Well I DON'T!"

"Ladies…Please stop fighting. Give my ears a break…" Sojiro said through gritted teeth.

Both girls looked at him. The former Tenken was not one who complained often; usually he took everything with a smile. He had learned to hide things away -anger, pain, annoyance- and look perpetually happy. Seeing him exasperated was scarce.

"Gomen."

"Sorry, Sou."

"I just hate to see people fight over stupid things. Harusame, that yukata will look lovely on you. And Sonomi, leave Harusame alone about getting married. If she doesn't want to, it's no business of yours." He pushed past them and stormed up the path, grumbling to himself. Did she seriously have no desire to marry? Was his heart going to be broken?

"Ohayo."

Sojiro looked down when he felt some one tugging on the leg of his hakama. A little child in a pink haori was grinning up at him, her cheeks rosy and her hair tousled around her face. She held a stick that she'd been dragging behind her in one hand and his pant leg in the other. "Ohayo, Little One." He smiled, "Where's your mama or papa?"

"Mama's comin'." She said cheerfully, "You wanna play?"

"Play what?" He wondered if this were Kamatari's daughter. She had the same thin hair and soft brown eyes. But then, other children could have the same features. However, this little girl also had his carefree smile, pale skin and sense of style. Maybe he was just so curious about his friend's child that he imagined this little girl looked like him, but he was sure she must have been Kietsu.

"Let's fight!" She released his clothing and brandished the stick. She crouched a little, shifting her weight, picking up a unique fighting stance.

"I'm sorry, Little One. I don't fight." He told her laughingly, glad his sword was out of sight. She truly was her father's child.

"Oh. Well then…" She frowned lightly.

"Sweetie, where are you?" 

Sojiro was certain now. That was none than Gesshoku who was looking for the girl. He recognized her voice. She came around the curve in the path at the same time as Harusame and Sonomi caught up with him.

Silence for a moment. The four friends looked at one another. Then Gessho burst into a grin and shrieked happily. "You guys! You made it!"

Kietsu stood beside Sojiro, watching as the three women chatted with one another, all of them speaking at once. Her mother's voice boomed over the other two, rapid, excited, over-enthused. She was slightly intimidated by them -all bigger than her and talking about things she didn't understand- and she hid behind her mother.

They continued talking and the little girl felt herself pushed forward to the center of the group. The two other woman were looking at her; exclaiming over how cute she was, how much she looked like her father. She looked around, trying to figure out what was going on, then she shrank back a little, trying to hide behind her mama, which didn't work. So she did what every other small child would.

She burst into tears.

@}--,--'---


	4. If I Could, I'd Rearange

****

It's "Christmas: Round 7" at my house today. The little people are coming since we haven't exchanged gifts with them yet. The twins, my mini-me, Uncle Vegeta…Mom has an unusual family and I'll probably have a good story for an author's note before the day is over. ^^v

@}--,--'---

"Why are you crying, Sweetheart?" Gesshoku bent and picked up her daughter, "Are you afraid? It's okay, Honey." She hugged the child, rubbing her back soothingly.

Kietsu hugged her mama, looking at Sonomi and Harusame through wide eyes wet with tears. She sniffled and hiccupped, a few more tears running down her cheeks. Although used to being around a lot of people, due to the constant stream of people coming and going from the hot springs, she couldn't help but feel intimidated by her mother and her friends.

"She's adorable, Gessho." Harusame said cheerfully, "She's so cute. Looks just like her father."

The little girl's chocolate gaze turned to Harusame's face. The young woman was pretty, with dark brown eyes and hair. Her hair was in a short cut, with bangs in the front and two long locks framing her sweet face. She was dressed in shades of blue and gray, a cloak around her shoulders. 

"She does look a lot like him." Sonomi agreed, nodding her head, her hair rippling down her back.

Kietsu looked over at Sonomi as she spoke. She looked quite lethal, composed and alluring all rolled into one. Long, dark hair, dark eyes, feathery scar emblazoned across her cheek. Rich, wine colored kimono, forest green haori. Everything about her was dark and sinister, but the child could sense no animosity. 

"Thank you." Gessho said proudly, "This is Kietsu. She'll be three next week. Sweetie, this is Sonomi, that's Harusame and this is Sojiro." She indicated each of her friends in turn.

Kietsu glanced from one to the other. "Mi, Haru, Sou." She pointed at each one respectively, shortening their names to something easier to remember. She had a habit of trimming people's names; her mind wasn't developed enough to remember something too long.

They smiled. She was an enchanting child with a sweet disposition. 

"How are you all doing?" Gessho asked, setting Kietsu back on the ground and taking her hand. The child was adventurous and had problems with wandering off when she got bored and her mother was afraid she would get lost. 

"Okay." Harusame answered for them all, "We've been pretty busy around the house and this one over here got himself a job." She indicated Sojiro, "He runs errands for local merchants back home."

"Congratulations, Sojiro. Glad to hear you found a job. We stay pretty busy too, doing work around the springs and taking care of this little one here. Kamatari will be thrilled to see you all. He's doing a few chores for my mother back at home. Come on, we've got rooms ready for you."

"I know! I know the way!" Kietsu jumped around her mother, waving her arms wildly, "Follow me!" She ran on ahead down the path, calling for them to follow behind her.

The group followed the little girl, indulging her in her request to be the leader. Sojiro watched as she ran, her little feet padding on the ground, looking over her shoulder every now and then to make sure they were still behind her. She was a truly beautiful child and he could easily see both of her parents in her; in her eyes, in her smile, in her general attitude. When she looked at him, her soft eyes meeting his, he felt young and happy, as if he could conquer the world. That child was the future of his friends. She was their life. He wanted a chance for that experience as well.

He thought Kamatari was the luckiest man alive.

And, God, was he jealous.

@}--,--'---

Kamatari was hanging the laundry, a load of pristine sheets. The weather was chilly and gray, but surprisingly dry for the month of February. Usually they had a lot of snow in Kobe at that time of year and laundry had to be dried outside. He hummed to himself softly, spreading the last sheet over the line.

__

"Witness the man who raves at the wall / Making the shape of his questions to Heaven / Whether the sun will fall in the evening / Will he remember the lesson of giving?" 

A breeze blew, rustling the damp sheets, causing them to dance and twirl on the wind, freeing his vision of the world before him. He could see his daughter running towards him, followed by her mother and their three expected friends. He raised a hand in greeting, waving cheerfully.

Harusame stopped dead in her tracks, watching as Kietsu ran to Kamatari, hugging him around the legs. Seeing him with the little girl was not surprising; what shocked her was his appearance. 

He looked like the man he truly was.

Deep, shimmery turquoise yukata, dusty gray hakama; oh, he was a picture of masculinity. His hair was kept in the same cut, hanging loose around his pretty face, and, while he was dressed like that, it was difficult to see traces of the woman he once was. Was this truly the same Kamatari they had parted ways with four years prior? 

Harusame didn't think so. She watched him as he swung Kietsu into his arms and they both laughed. He kissed her on the cheek, then looked up at his wife and friends. "Welcome to our home."

Kietsu watched from her father's arms as the chatter broke out again. Feeling shy, she buried her face in his shoulder, trying to hide away from the excitement and all the big people talking about big people things. Then she yawned, sticking her thumb in her mouth.

"You look fantastic, Kamatari. I've never seen you looking so manly. I never knew you _could _look so manly." Sonomi prattled, "I was expecting the same old Kamatari in the kimono." She tucked a strand of her shiny hair behind her ear.

"Well…" He blushed, somewhat flustered by her combined compliment and jibe. "We couldn't have the baby confused. One mama is plenty for her. But thank you for the compliment anyway, Sonomi. You all look wonderful as well. Harusame, you look particularly feminine today." 

"They made me buy a yukata for the springs." Harusame rolled her eyes, her arms folded languidly across her chest.

"A yukata?" He squealed excitedly, "Let me see." 

She halfheartedly complied, removing it from its wrappings and holding it up. Sonomi had done wonders talking her into looking girly; it was sky blue, silk and rather sexy looking.

"Oh my." Kamatari's free hand fluttered over to the silk and he ran his fingers across it. "I never even had anything so gorgeous. You'll look stunning; positively stunning."

Same old Kamatari.

Harusame relaxed a little. It was hard to stay tense around an upbeat man like Kamatari. He could make any one happy and cheerful. He was a mood-lightener, a sort of comic relief, a way to keep everything real. Every one saw him as such, but no one understood. Only Gesshoku. There was more to Kamatari than met the eye; much more. He was a complicated man, not just a carefree cross-dresser.

Gessho smiled at her husband. She knew he was positively ecstatic to have their friends there. He was happy-go-lucky most of the time and loved nothing more than being with the people he cared about. Kumori was always goading him into doing this or that for her or to better his own life or to do something for Kietsu and he hated it. It made him tense and peevish, which drove Gessho crazy. She wished her mother would leave them alone and let them relax. Kamatari needed this time with their friends so he could be himself.

"Darling, every one must be hungry. Why don't we go get something to eat at a restaurant?" Kamatari suggested, shifting Kietsu in his arms. She was straddled on his hip, her head on his shoulder. He brushed back her hair and she smiled sleepy up at him.

"I think Kietsu needs a nap before we do anything." His wife suggested knowingly, "She's had quite the busy morning."

"I dun need a nap!" The little girl argued, "Not sleepy…" She trailed off with a yawn.

"Oh, you're not, are you?" Gessho laughed, taking the child in her arms. Kietsu snuggled up to her, thumb in mouth, her eyes heavy with sleep. "Well then, we'll just go inside and talk for a little while before we go out then." She knew the moment they started reminiscing, Kietsu would be out like a light.

"Gesshoku-san-"

"Sojiro, if you call me that one more time, I'm going to rip your tongue out!" Gessho cut him off good-naturedly.

"Well…" He said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head, "What am I supposed to call you? I can't call you Aoiroten-san any more. And calling you Honjou-san would just be too confusing."

"We've known one another for six years, right?"

"Right." A cheerful nod of agreement.

"I've been married to Kamatari for five of those years. You don't call him by his last name. I think it's about time you stop addressing me formally and call me by my first name. We're friends, Sou, you don't need to be so polite."

"I'll try." He promised, "But now I forgot what I was going to ask you." He frowned, causing her to laugh.

"Let's go inside then." Kamatari suggested, "It's been nearly four years since we've seen each other and there's so much to talk about." He turned on his heal, picking up the laundry basket, his hakama swishing between his legs. He had gotten used to them over the years, but still preferred his women's clothes.

The others followed him into the house portion of the springs. They went into the sitting room where they could be most comfortable. Kamatari and Gessho settled down together on a couple large cushions, Gessho with Kietsu on her lap. The others followed suit, making themselves cozy around the room.

Once they were all seated, the three new arrivals looked at the young family. Then they looked at one other. It was Harusame who finally asked "Why didn't you tell us??"

"What? About our little lady?" Gessho smiled, "We meant to; really we did. But having a baby takes up a lot of time. We've been so busy these past few years." 

Kietsu grinned. "I keep Mama an' Papa busy!" She exclaimed between yawns. She was snuggled in her mother's lap, her head against Gessho's chest, her mother's arms wrapped around her.

"You certainly do, Sweetheart." Kamatari told her. Then he looked up at his friends, "What have all of you been up to?"

More excited chatter broke out as they swapped stories. The travels of Kamatari and Gessho, the news of Kietsu, their return to the springs, the past three years watching the child grow. Then tales turned to the goings on of the Natsutsuki household, Sojiro's job, Sonomi and Harusame's doings. Subsequently, the talk turned to that of the past as they reminisced about old times.

Sojiro and Kamatari spoke fondly of Shishio, swapping stories, sharing opinions. It was around this time that Kietsu fell asleep in Gessho's lap. The young woman listened silently as her husband conversed so affectionately of the man he once loved. She knew Shishio still lurked in the back of Kamatari's mind as well as in his heart. And it hurt her something bad.

They never did go out that night, just picked at leftovers in the kitchen. The talking went on late into the evening as the friends caught up with one another. It was when Sonomi started yawning that they thought about sleep.

Gesshoku showed the guests to their rooms as Kamatari put Kietsu to bed. Sonomi settled in to bed right away as Gessho took the other two to the special room prepared for them. It was a nice room, with Western furnishings and a comfortable, welcoming atmosphere. The two looked around as Gessho said goodnight and headed back to her own room. It was a gorgeous chamber. The only problem? 

There was only one bed.

@}--,--'---

Kamatari was already changed for bed when Gessho appeared in the doorway. He was standing, staring out the window, and only murmured a greeting as she went in. Sighing, she crossed the room to him, wrapping her arms around him. "Come to bed, Kamatari."

He turned in her arms, smiling faintly at her. "All right, Darling."

She led him over to their bed, sitting herself among the comforters. "You were talking a lot about Shishio tonight, Kamatari. Are you okay?"

He settled himself beside her, his head on her shoulder. He had had a lost child look in his eyes since he and Sojiro began to chat earlier in the evening and now he was very disheartened. She caressed his cheek, letting him know she was there for him. "Do you want to talk about it with me?"

He shook his head, his eyes brimming with tears. Shifting slightly, he wrapped his arms around her waist, his head in her lap, and she stroked his hair. She hated seeing him so miserable; a shadow of what he had been when they started becoming closer to one another. "It's…It's okay to miss him. It's okay to cry and be sad. He was your first love, after all." _No matter how much it hurts…No matter how much you want to cry…He needs to hear that it's okay. You love him and would do anything for him. No matter how much it hurts…_

"You were my first love." He whispered, sniffling slightly, "You were my first love and I…I'm not crying because I miss him." His voice was muffled by the fabric of her yukata.

"Why then?" She prodded gently, biting her lip, dreading his answer.

"Because I still love him." He looked up at her, tears rolling off his face, "And I don't want to." His voice cracked and he gulped back tears, trying to keep from upsetting her, "I love you, Koishii, and I don't want to love any one else. I want all of my heart to belong to you."

She bent over him, hugging him, her own tears falling, mixing with his. "I'm sorry. I didn't understand. I felt betrayed; jealous that you would think of some one else. I'm a terribly selfish person." She brushed away his tears with her thumb, her mouth searching desperately for his, "I love you. I'm so selfish…"

He pulled her down, kissing her gently. "No…Don't feel bad. You're my wife; you're allowed to be jealous. I know how you're always putting aside your own feelings for mine because you love me that much. You were the first person I loved and I promised myself to you when we were little and I betrayed you. I'm the one who should be sorry."

"You can't help who you love."

"I love _you_."

Both were silent for a moment as they stared at each other, eyes burning together. He had rolled over onto his back and was staring up at her, his eyes wide and full of emotion. She smiled softly, telling him silently that it was okay and they would always be together, then she lay down beside him, her head on his chest. 

"Koishii…" He kissed the top of her head, "Koishii; ai shiteru."

She smiled at him, snuggling closer to him. "I love you too. I love you more than anything, that's why I never gave up on you."

"I'm glad. If you gave up, I don't think I would have done this. I would have run away and you and I would not be married and I would still be terribly anguished and alone." He hugged her close, never wishing to let her leave his arms. They had a strange existence, the two, and were often dealing with his feelings. On one hand, he loved Gesshoku; on the other hand, Shishio-sama was still there, still teasing him, taunting him, reminding him that he wasn't good enough. She took all of this in stride and he loved her all the more for it.

"You can't give up on the people you love." Her hand ran along his cheek and she kissed him again, wondering how much their close contact excited him. They were hardly ever together like that any more because they were both usually exhausted by the time they went to bed. She knew he hated it -that lusty, sinful feeling- but she also knew he felt that way from time to time and fought it. 

It proved to be too much that night, however, as he took her gently in his arms, kissing her softly, telling her he loved her. He didn't want to think of Shishio-sama and he was going to get rid of him the only way he knew how.

@}--,--'---

****

That last scene there with the Kamatari angst was something I dreamt up while at church. I'm a bad Catholic, ne? Instead of paying attention to the decrepit, old priest, I think of a scene for a very odd fic. A scene that's slightly shonen ai, no less. Figures I would think about _that _while at church where they say homosexuality is wrong (which I, for the record, certainly DO NOT believe). 


	5. Love is Blindness, I Don't Want to See

@}--,--'---

February 6th 

__

Harusame was falling.

It was dark all around her; never ending blackness and she was falling. Her arms clawed wildly in the air, searching for something to grab onto, trying to stop her fall. She screamed, calling for help, all to no avail. 

And she continued to fall.

She woke when she hit the floor.

"Ouch." She was a tangle of blankets and sheets; a big heap on the cold floor.

Sojiro peered over the edge of the bed. "Are you alright?"

She glared up at him. "Do I look alright?" She snapped irritably, "And what are you doing on my side of the bed?" Fighting her way out of the mess of blankets, she popped up to be on eye-level with him. 

He shrank back. She looked like she was about to kill him. He could see himself reflected in her eyes and wondered if his terrified expression counted for anything or if he was about to die. 

"I am going to kill Gessho." She said through gritted teeth, "And then I'm going to kill Kamatari. I'm sorry that their kid'll have to be an orphan, but I'm going to kill them anyway. Giving us a room with only one bed…"

Sojiro sighed. He hadn't minded there being only one bed in the room. He was a polite, well-rounded man and he wouldn't try anything sketchy with her, no matter how much he liked her. Just being close to her was enough to make him happy. However, it didn't seem that Harusame felt the same way. She had divided up the blankets, told him if he left "his side" of the bed she would mangle him, then curled up way on the other side of the bed.

"What was so bad about sharing a bed?" He asked innocently.

Her face flushed red, "Everything!"

"I would never do anything to you."

"I don't understand why she couldn't have given this room to me and Sonomi. I've shared a bed with her before and you could have had the little room."

"You shared a bed with her back when we were all kids." He pointed out, "I think we've all matured beyond that point. Gesshoku-san and Kamatari used to share a bed the way we did last night and nothing ever happened to either of them."

"It was…different with them. We all thought he was in love with Shishio then. He was like 'one of the girls' and we knew he would keep his hands to himself." She was getting flustered, waving her hands around as she spoke, her face still a slight pink hue. She knew Sojiro liked her and she liked him just as much, which was what made this so difficult.

"I would never do anything to you, Harusame." He colored slightly, embarrassed that she would even imply it, "You know how I feel about you, but if you would rather, I could ask Gesshoku-san to give us separate rooms." That was not at all what he wanted, but if it would make her happy…

She looked at her hands. She was the youngest of the group at nineteen and still shy about being in love. That was why she got in so many arguments with Sonomi about her love-life. That was why she was always snapping at people who brought up the subject of her and Sojiro together. She wanted to be with him, but wasn't sure how to express it, so she just avoided the subject altogether, hoping the problem would take care of itself but knowing it never would.

"I don't mind sharing a bed with you, okay?" She continued to look everywhere but at him, "I just…don't know what to do." She blushed furiously, hoping he wouldn't laugh at her.

"What do you mean?" He cocked his head, trying to figure out what she meant. 

"When I'm in bed with you…" Her voice sounded strained, "I don't know what to do with you." Her face was flaming scarlet and she fiddled with the edge of the sheet.

"You don't have to do anything." He said gently, taking her hand in his, "You just have to sleep. I don't want to do anything with you."

She looked up and it surprised her to see him just as serious as she was; his face just about the same shade of red. "You don't?"

"No." He smiled slightly, "I'm not going to pressure you into anything. I thought you knew I wasn't that kind of guy. Just to see you comfortable and happy is enough."

She nodded. Did he mean that? For a while, Sonomi had been hinting around about Sojiro asking her to marry him. The thought of that kind of commitment terrified her, even though she did love him a lot. Harusame was an independent girl and didn't really want to be tied down, for fear of losing a part of who she was.

He stood up. "I'll leave so you can get dressed. See you at breakfast."

She looked after him wistfully, wishing she could tell him all the secrets of her heart, but not brave enough.

@}--,--'---

Gesshoku awoke crushed beneath her husband, clutching his arm, as was her habit. His arms were around her, his head under her chin, and he was smiling. She grinned, her fingers running along his back. Waking up with Kamatari was the best feeling she ever had; she loved him so.

He mumbled something incomprehensible and her hand moved up to his hair. She ran her fingers through it, the feel of his silky locks like water in her hand. His face was streaked with dry tears, even though he was smiling. She felt her heart turn for him. He was in so much pain over his past still and it hurt her, made her wish she could take it all away.

She touched his cheek, his skin soft, smooth to the touch. He was warm; alive. She still couldn't believe they were together. Five years and she only loved him more. But she feared for him and the grief in his heart.

Too many times in the past had she heard him mumbling about Shishio in his sleep. Too many times had she seen that lost, sad look in his soft eyes. And too many times had she seen his smile fade away. 

It broke her heart.

Kamatari's eyes fluttered open and he looked up at Gessho. "What's wrong, Darling?" He shifted a little, taking in her troubled expression. Her face was pale and drawn, her eyes full of sorrows. He frowned, knowing she was worried over him, knowing her pain was all his fault.

"Nothing's wrong." She forced a smile, looking up to meet his gaze. He was still on top of her, still pinning her to the bed. He wasn't that much heavier than she was and this didn't bother her, but she felt trapped, as if she would have to let down the walls. She had always wanted to be strong for him.

"Something is wrong. I can see it in your eyes."

"Do you love me?" She had to ask; had to know. He said he did, but was it the truth?

"What?" His eyes widened, his heart seeming to stop within his chest. "Why would you ask me that?"

"You say it all the time. You say you love me with such ease. But I sometimes wonder…Do you really? Or do you just say it because you feel that you have to? Because you feel a duty to me, due to the will of our fathers?"

"Oh, Koishii…" The back of his hand found its way to her cheek; he brushed away her tears before they fell. "I say it because I love you. I would say it for no other reason. Not to you and not to Kietsu. If I did not feel so strongly for you, I would not have married you." He took her face in his hands, drawing it up to his own. "Look me in the eyes."

She looked, searching his brown eyes for the truths they held. There was no lie in his eyes, only the simple fact: He loved her beyond words.

He watched as her muddy eyes swam with tears. Was she going to cry? He drew her into his arms, holding her close. "I love you, Gesshoku. I love you and that is why I tell you so."

There came the tears like summer rain; she hugged him tightly, her smile lighting her face. "You make me so happy. I love you so." She kissed him soundly, then rested her head on his shoulder.

He smiled, brushed back a lock of her hair, glad the crisis had been averted. He did not want to see her upset on his account, but knew it was often so. This saddened him.

"Mama…Papa." 

Both looked up at the sound of Kietsu's voice. She was standing in the doorway, her little yukata hanging loosely off her shoulders. She rubbed sleep from her eyes, beaming at them brightly. "Ohayo, Mama; Papa." She bobbed her head politely, causing them both to laugh.

"Come here, Dearest." Her mother beckoned to her. 

She ran across the room, her bare feet padding on the floor, and threw herself at them both. She was laughing, her smile wide and cheerful. Gessho hugged her snugly, kissing her forehead, then she squirmed out of her arms and into her father's lap. "How many more days 'til my birthday, Papa?"

He smiled, tickling her, to which she giggled. "Eight. You'll be three in eight days, Little Lady."

"This many?" She held up seven fingers.

"One more, Sweetheart." He lifted another of her fingers so that eight were displayed. 

" 'Kay."

Gesshoku watched as they interacted, a smile on her lips. He was so good to their daughter, so loving and gentle. He, a man no one would have expected to father a child, and there he was, the girl on his lap. She wondered what he would think to the notion of another child, now that she was ready to have one and knew she was capable of experiencing such joy.

@}--,--'---

Sonomi rolled over, stretching out across her bed. She loved having her own room and not having to share a bed with any one. She wondered how Sojiro and Harusame had fared in their single bed and a grin crossed her face. She and their friends would either be dead or thanked by the end of the day, depending on how the two of them dealt with the situation.

She sat up, brushing back her long hair. It would be an interesting day and she might as well get up to start the day.

She dressed quickly, pulling on a kimono and obi. Unlike her two friends, Sonomi liked to look like the woman that she was and wore traditional clothes on a daily basis. She ran a comb through her hair, pulling it back in a loose ponytail, then wandered out of the room in search of some breakfast.

Sojiro, Kamatari and Gessho were already seated at the chabudai when she appeared in the dining room. Kietsu was scampering back and forth between her father and Sojiro, talking excitedly. Sonomi smiled. The kid was adorable.

"Morning every one!" She said cheerfully, "How are we all today? Where's Harusame?" She seated herself between Gesshoku and Sojiro, surveying to room and taking in all her friends.

Kietsu beamed at her. "Ohayo, Mi!" She squealed, hugging the young woman.

"Hello to you too, Kiddo." Sonomi smiled again. 

"Harusame is getting dressed." Sojiro informed her casually. He had his usual smile on his face and he was drinking tea.

"I see." She looked at Gessho and Kamatari, wondering what was wrong with the two of them. They were smiling pleasantly, but she could see it in their eyes. Something was upsetting them. Then she recalled all of the talk about Shishio the night before and she was certain it had something to do with that.

She wondered how much the ghost of Shishio still haunted them. She was well aware of Gesshoku's passionate hatred for the man. She had no respect for him whatsoever and didn't understand why her husband had loved him so much. She also knew that Kamatari still felt something for Shishio, but wasn't sure what exactly. How did this affect their relationship and how did they deal with it? Both of them seemed okay most of the time.

"Good morning." 

Harusame had materialized in the doorway. She was wearing her usual outfit; long, flowy pants, long-sleeved white shirt and a blue short-sleeved top over it. She made no comment about the sleeping arrangements, just settled herself next to Sojiro at the low table.

Gessho looked curiously at her young friend. She'd been expecting a big to-do over the room she'd given the young couple, and was somewhat surprised that nothing had come of it. Harusame was usually very vocal about things. Had she, perhaps, begun to mature beyond throwing a tantrum?

"What's on the schedule for today?" Harusame asked calmly, picking up the tea pot and pouring herself a cup of tea.

Four pairs of eyes blinked. What was wrong with her? Even Sojiro was surprised by her nonchalant attitude. This was a side of Harusame they had never seen. Only Kietsu saw nothing wrong with this quiet side of the young woman. She smiled at her, hugging her blissfully. "You play with me, Haru?" She beamed.

"Of course, Sweetie." Harusame couldn't help but grin at the little girl's enthusiasm. 

"Yay!" Kietsu jumped up and down, clapping her hands excitedly. She looked over her shoulder at her mother, her expression one of thrill. "New friends!"

"Why don't we go into town and go visiting? I haven't been to Kyoto in a long time and I'm sure that Harusame, Sonomi and Sojiro would like to see the gang down at the Aoiya." Gessho suggested, "Would you like to go see Aoi, Kietsu?"

"Hai!" The little girl nodded emphatically, "Aoi my friend." She clamored into her mother's lap, grinning eagerly. She loved going to Kyoto, eating at the Aoiya and seeing Shinomori Aoi, daughter of the Okashira.

"Okay." Her father decided, "Today we go to Kyoto."

@}--,--'---

****

Let's see…Most people who are reading this have read "How Dare He?" and know who Aoi is. But for those who don't…go read "How Dare He?" *grins a goofy grin*


	6. Afraid of What You Find

****

Hmm…I never told a story about my cousins, did I? Well, I don't really have one, since Rachel and I were at the mall for a good portion of the time in which they were here. I can tell you, however, that we got matching purple shirts that say "I DATE COLLEGE BOYS" on the front. We got them as a joke, since both our boyfriends are in college (Rachel's a sophomore in high school, but she and Jared -a college freshman like me- have been going out since last year…almost 14 months!).

@}--,--'---

"Mama, why dun we go see Aoi more?" Kietsu called over her shoulder as she skipped down the path leading from the Aoiroten-onsan. She was dressed nicely, wearing a little sky blue kimono and violet haori. Her hair had been combed neatly and Gesshoku hoped to the gods she would stay clean.

"It's a big trip, going to Kyoto, Sweetie." Her mother replied. Gessho saw fit to dress up for the occasion and donned a dark green kimono, embroidered with ivy leave, which seemed to darken the color of her hair. Her haori was midnight blue and matched her obi. She looked nice -dignified- the way her mother always wished she would and she actually felt comfortable that way.

"That's right." Kamatari agreed, taking Kietsu by the hand. She looked up at him, smiling fondly, and he smiled back at her. He looked quite nice too, dressed in plum purple and wine red, dark colors for dreary weather. 

Sojiro walked behind his friends, thinking to himself what an attractive family they were. They all looked so much alike, with similar hair cuts, facial expressions and clothes. They fit together quite nicely, loved one another, and treated one another with dignity and respect. 

He wished his family had been like that. 

He thought of all the hell they had put him through, all the torture and belittling. He hated his family for destroying his life and starting him down the path to evil. Of course, they were already dead, but he didn't like to remember that. Every time he thought about it, he felt unworthy of Harusame's love.

__

Can I be good to her? Can I give her everything she desires? Can I put the past behind me like Himura-san? Can I do it? Or will it constantly haunt me, reminding me of all my wrongs? Will I cause her to suffer the way Gesshoku-san does? Every time I see Gesshoku-san without that light in her eyes…I wonder. Will I see the same thing in Harusame? 

Will I cause her to cry? Or will I bring her joy? My past is stained with blood; so much blood. I willingly did these things, willingly killed people. I still suffer over this. Will it cause her to suffer as well?

"What's wrong, Sojiro?"

The young man snapped back to attention at the sound of Harusame's voice. "What do you mean, Harusame?" 

"You're frowning." She pointed out.

"Oh, was I?" He smiled cheerfully, "I hadn't realized." She could tell something was wrong with him. This was a sign of intimacy and closeness. He colored slightly at this thought.

"So what's wrong?" She prodded him in the shoulder, "Something is bothering you."

"Oh, I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"…The past." He looked at her, taking in her pretty face, wondering what she was feeling about this. She knew every little bit of his past life; every dark moment of his past. How he'd been belittled by his family. How he'd met and helped Shishio. How he'd murdered his family. The sins he'd committed working for Shishio. She knew it all.

"Oh." A pause, "You okay?"

"Yeah." He smiled.

"Okay." She smiled vaguely, knowing it really was something which bothered him to think about. She bit her lip, wondering how she could be supportive of him when he kept all his feelings inside. He was walking right beside her. She glanced down. His hand hung at his side, dangerously close to hers. She hesitated a minute, then slid her hand into his.

Sojiro's eyes widened when he felt Harusame's hand in his. Then he smiled, twining his fingers through hers.

Sonomi, walking behind the two, noticed this and took note of it. Perhaps this was helping, their little getaway. The two of them seemed slightly more at ease with one another since they had arrived at the Aoiroten-onsan. This was good.

@}--,--'---

It was early afternoon when they arrived in Kyoto. 

Kietsu was in her father's arms, half asleep. It was a rather long walk from Kobe to Kyoto and the little girl was tired. She was snuggled up against his shoulder, her arms around his neck. Harusame and Sojiro were still holding hands. Gessho was beside Kamatari, her strides evenly matched with his. He shifted Kietsu, putting an arm around his wife's shoulder. She smiled up at him, snuggling into his embrace. 

All was well with the world.

The Aoiya was bustling with activity. It had become a quite popular restaurant over the past six years and people were always coming and going. Sometimes the same customers who came to the Aoiroten-onsan. Gessho and Misao actually got along quite well and recommended visitors to each other on occasion. 

"Aoi! Aoi!" Kietsu slid from her father's arms and ran into the building.

"Kit?" Little Shinomori Aoi looked up from where she was sitting on the floor, playing with a rag doll. Aoi was a tiny, frail-looking little girl; pale skin, dark, shiny hair falling over her forehead in bangs, ice blue eyes like her father. She was dressed in a dusty pink kimono spattered with cheery blossoms, her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. A serious smile lit her face when she realized it was indeed her beloved friend.

She rose to her feet, calling over her shoulder, "Mama, Kit's here!" She yelled excitedly. It had been a long time since they'd seen one another.

"Aoi! Almost my birthday!" Kietsu exclaimed, "I'll be this many." Brandishing three fingers, she beamed at her friend.

"Ooo…'M three!" Giggling, Aoi held up three fingers as well.

Kamatari and Gesshoku looked at one another, smiling. They were glad Kietsu had a friend her own age, even if she only saw Aoi once a month or so. It was rare that a family came to the hot springs, so the little girl was often surrounded by adults.

"Kietsu. Hey, Kiddo, how's it going?" Misao had appeared in the doorway, donning an apron, a towel over one arm.

"Misao-san! Almost my birthday!" The child exclaimed proudly.

"That's great. How old will you be?" 

"Three!"

Misao smiled. She remembered when Kamatari and Gesshoku had returned to the springs before Kietsu was born. It was in December, just in time for their wedding anniversary, and they had stopped at the Aoiya on the way home. It had surprised her to see Gessho pregnant; she never would have expected the two of them to have a child. But there they were, the three of them.

"Hi, Gessho." She said cheerfully to the older woman. She liked Gesshoku well enough, but wasn't quite sure why. She wasn't the prettiest thing to walk the earth, or the smartest, or even the most amiable. In fact, she was downright nutty. But Misao couldn't help but like her.

"Hey, Misao." Came the good-natured response.

The young Okashira's cerulean gaze slid over to Kamatari. A light frown crossed her face; she had never liked the man. She tolerated him solely because of Gessho and Kietsu. There was, of course, no real reason to dislike him any more. Shishio was dead, Kamatari was sort of straightened out, and he was passionate about his family, instead of killing people to win love. She just couldn't stop hating him.

She said nothing to the man and he looked slightly hurt. Then she turned her attention to Harusame, Sojiro and Sonomi, tackling each of them in a hug and prattling on excitedly. It had been ages since she'd seen any of them and this was a thrill for her. Same old excitable Misao.

Kamatari stared down at his feet, wondering why Misao had ignored him again. He hadn't done anything to her, not since he fought her six years ago and he was always apologizing for that. He saw her on a semi-regular basis, she was always frigid towards him, and it made him feel terrible.

Gessho took notice of his downcast expression and laced her fingers through his. She knew Misao had feelings of distaste towards Kamatari, though she didn't quite understand it all, what had happened between them in the past. She wished Misao would put the past behind them, for she hated to see that hurt look in Kamatari's eyes.

He looked at her, taking in that face so like his own; those brown eyes full of sadness. He swallowed, wondering how he could ever love any one but her and wishing to the heavens that he didn't. He had room in his heart to love only one person fully and he wanted that person to be Gesshoku. "Dai suki, Koishii." He said softly.

She smiled forlornly. "I know."

@}--,--'---

"So, are you two, like, an item now?"

Sojiro and Harusame both blushed a brilliant red at Misao's question. She had sat down to eat with them, dragging Aoshi out from his study and forcing him to join the company. He sat silently beside her, having hardly said a word to any one, which was not unusual for Aoshi. Aoi was sitting on the other side of her father, listening as Kietsu chattered about small girl things, not saying more than two words the whole time. She was so like her father.

"Well…" Harusame hemmed and hawed over what to say. There was a mutual attraction between the two, but nothing seemed to be coming of it. What could she say? She looked to Sojiro for help, but he shied away, not wishing to say anything for fear of digging himself into a hole.

"Oh, they're just good friends." Sonomi jumped into the conversation, knowing she was about to get herself pummeled for saying what she was about to say, "Both of them are too shy to just get over themselves and say they want to be together."

Sojiro turned very pink and Harusame glared daggers at Sonomi. She would have leapt across the table to kill her then, had Gessho not grabbed her by the arm. "Chill out, Harusame." She said calmly.

"Let me go! She needs to die for that." Harusame struggled a little bit, then realized both of the little girls were staring at her, their eyes wide. Blushing, she settled herself back in her seat. "I'll kill her later." She mumbled.

"Mama," Aoi tugged on Misao's sleeve, "She's not really gonna kill Sonomi-san, is she?" 

Misao looked down at her daughter, taking in her worried expression, her creased brow, the serious look in her eyes. Her little girl was so solemn, it almost caused her to laugh. "Oh, no, Sweetie. Harusame isn't going to kill any one."

The child sighed in relief, then turned back to Kietsu, who immediately began babbling again. This time, Misao couldn't help but laugh. She prodded at Aoshi with one finger, "She's too much like you." She smiled.

Aoshi looked at his wife and she could see his icy eyes dancing with laughter. It warmed her heart to see some emotion in Aoshi, a man every one once considered to be nothing more than a frozen wasteland. She had opened him up, thawed him out, got him to express his feelings. And she couldn't have been happier with the results.

"And the two of you…" Misao's gaze traveled to Gessho, "Anything new with you?" She would politely inquire after Kamatari, but not much more than that.

Gessho shrugged. "Just the usual. Mama's giving us orders and bossing us around. Nissho hasn't been home in months. We spend all our free time together as a family." She wanted to express her desire for a second child, but not before she discussed it with Kamatari first. She knew it would be hard on him and put a lot of pressure on him. He did his duty as her husband, but she knew he was reserved and hesitant about it. 

She also knew he enjoyed it.

Aoshi watched as the friends chattered amongst one another. He was perfectly comfortable with them, but saw no need to say anything. He just observed the gaiety around him, drinking his tea, keeping an eye on Aoi. He loved Aoi and watched her like a hawk. She was his baby, his joy in life. He never regretted having her, not once over the past four years.

He looked at Kamatari. He had met the unusual man only once back in the time of Shishio and distinctly remembered him as a woman. He'd seen Kamatari more over the past three years and wondered constantly if he really was the same man he had met in Shishio's stronghold. That Kamatari had worn a kimono, simpered over Shishio and told Aoshi himself he was a hunk. The Kamatari sitting at the table, however, was nearly the exact opposite. 

He was telling some story about Kietsu, waving his hands around for dramatic flare as he spoke, chatting a mile a minute. The girls were completely enraptured in what he was saying, laughing and questioning him. Gesshoku shook her head at her husband's dramatics, then glanced over at Aoshi.

"How have you been, Aoshi-san?" She asked pleasantly. Her mother had attempted to groom her for society when she was younger and the training had not been lost on her.

"Very well, thank you." He replied, "And yourself?"

She grinned. "Wonderful. We're happy with one another and with the little lady. But, um, I was wondering…"

"Oh?" His eyebrows went up. 

"Have…" She glanced over her shoulder, making sure Kamatari was distracted, "Have you and Misao ever thought about having another baby?" Her face flushed slightly red, but she continued to meet his gaze.

"Of course we've thought about it. But we haven't really tried for it and it hasn't happened yet, so…" He sort of trailed off, blinking, then looked at her seriously. "Why? Do you want a second child, Gesshoku?"

"I don't know. I don't know how to talk to him about it or anything. How would you want to be approached with this subject?"

He paled a little, wondering what in the heavens she was asking him this for. His train of thought could be nothing like Kamatari's; how could he possibly know how that odd man would react? "I'm afraid I can't help you there. He and I are completely different and I have no idea how his mind works."

"Right…" 

She looked a little lost. Aoshi wished he could help her, but wasn't sure he could. He did feel bad for her, married to that wacky okama, but this was such an odd situation. "If you want my advice, Gesshoku, I'd suggest you talk to him about it as soon as possible and see what he says. This is something for you to discuss with him, not me."

"I know…But I don't know what to say to him. I mean, I didn't want Kietsu when I was pregnant. I didn't want her at all. I don't know how to tell him that I want to do it again."

"Why are you telling me this?" He was a little curious about the reasons why he was discussing it with him; they barely knew each other.

"I knew you would listen." She looked away, staring at her hands where they rested in her lap, "I'm sorry to bother you like this. Just forget about it. I'll talk to him later."

Aoshi nodded, wishing to say more to her, but not knowing what or why. This was not something he dealt with on a regular basis and he was at a loss for words. He hoped everything would work out for her.

He hoped she would be blissfully happy like he was.

@}--,--'---

****

Ahhh…'nother chapter finished and it feels so good! n_n Now I have two separate plots in one story…Sojiro and Harusame getting together and Gessho's quest for another baby. Of course, the latter of the two is a side-plot revolving around the former, but I get to have some fun writing both mush and angst. And I really think Aoshi is the kind of person you could ask for advice. He's so pensive and, well, smart. ^^


	7. Maybe Tonight

****

Happy New Year, y'all! Had a good night, made 40 bucks and learned that Stevie Wonder's real name is "Stevelandjudkins Moris." Also, there's some kind of bird called a "butwink." Guess you learn something new everyday, huh?

@}--,--'---

"Kamatari?"

"What's wrong, Darling? Something has been bothering you all day." Kamatari looked at his wife, searching her eyes for answers to his question. She had been sitting amongst their bedding, staring off into space, a perplexed expression on her face. 

Now she was looking at him. 

"I'm ready now." She said softly.

"Ready for what?" He tilted his head to the side, wondering what she meant. She confused him sometimes, even though he had a good understanding of the female mind. He knew whatever she was talking about was something they had discussed before, but wasn't sure what exactly.

"To have a baby."

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His throat had suddenly gone dry. "You…You want to have another baby?" A strange flood of emotions washed over him. He loved Kietsu and got much joy from taking care of her. He loved Gesshoku and would give her the world if he could. But he was still afraid of so many things. He still missed Shishio-sama. He was still shy about making love to his wife. But he only wanted her happy…

"I think so…" She nodded slowly, "I think I want another baby. But I know it will be hard for you. I know you don't feel comfortable when we…I'm so confused. I don't want to force you. But…"

He sat down beside her, putting his arm around her. "If you want a baby, we'll have a baby, Koishii. I'll give you anything you want."

"But do _you _want a baby, Kamatari?" She snuggled against him, her head on his shoulder. 

"I honestly don't know. This is a big decision, Gesshoku. But if it will make you happy…" He hugged her tightly, trying to fight back the fear spreading through him. What would he do with a second child? Love it; there was no doubt of that. But could he take care of two children? Could he love two children as well as one? _Shishio-sama, what do I do?_

"I don't know if it will make me happy. I don't know anything any more. I just know that sometimes I think I would regret only having Kietsu. Ten years from now, twenty years, will I wish we had more children?" Her eyes filled up with tears and she sniffled, "I don't want to live with regrets…"

He was silent for a while, absorbing what she had just said. _I don't want to live with regrets…_Was that something he had been doing? He was living, drowning in regret. Almost everything in his life from those ten years he had left Kobe...He regretted it all. No more. He would live in fear of the past no more. _He's gone; it's time to move on._

He clung to her desperately, his face buried in her hair. "I'm so sorry, Koishii. I've been making you miserable, chasing ghosts and living stuck in the past. It's been six years and I think it's time to get on with my life. I've got you and the little lady, why do I need any one else?"

"You…You mean it?" She looked up at him, tears running down her face. Could he throw away ten years of his life, all for her? Shishio had a hold on him, even in death. Was he capable of throwing that all away? "You'll leave the past behind?…For me?" She wiped her eyes, her gaze meeting his.

"For you and for the baby, I would do anything. This is my life now and I put all of my love and all of my heart into being there for you. If you're going to suffer because of my past, I'm going to get rid of the past. I love you, Gessh, and I certainly love our daughter. I'm not going to ruin that by living in the past."

She threw her arms around him; showered him with kisses. "I love you. I love you so much. Nothing about the past could stop the love I feel for you. But I'm so happy. I'm so proud of you. If you can do this…I hate to see you so miserable when you remember things. When you get sad, when you're ready to cry, it tears me up inside, because I don't know how to help you."

"I am terribly sorry." 

She wiped her eyes, looking up at him wistfully. "It's not your fault, Anata. You can't change the past, but gods, you've been trying. I know you're trying so hard to let go. We've had a good life together for the last five years and I only love you more." She stroked his cheek and he took her hand in his, kissing her palm. She wanted to melt at his touch; fall into him. "We've got nowhere to go but up."

"I'll tell you what we'll do." He leaned back on the bed, still holding her in his arms, "We'll talk more about how the both of us are feeling. We won't have all these pent up feelings and we won't suffer silently."

She settled into his embrace, her head against his chest. "That sounds nice."

"And we'll ask Kietsu what she thinks about having a sister or brother. You take time to think about whether or not you really want another baby, then we'll figure out what to do. One step at a time, Gessh. One step at a time."

"All right." A smile crossed her face. She was sure Kietsu would be happy with the idea of a sibling. She would just have to decide what she wanted. "I'll think it over." She kissed him softly.

He smiled, returning the kiss. "Love you, Koishii."

@}--,--'---

Sojiro stared at the wall. Behind him, Harusame was changing her clothes. She had decided he didn't need to leave the room, but threatened him with torture and eventual death if he looked. He could hear her rustling around as she pulled of her clothes and slid into her sleepwear, which caused him to blush deeply. 

Behind him, she was half naked.

__

Think wholesome thoughts; think wholesome thoughts; think wholesome thoughts; think wholesome thoughts…I can't believe she's changing her clothes while I'm right here! I could turn around and - Eep! Think unsexy thoughts! Shishio-sama un-bandaged…Yumi-san's green lipstick. Kamatari wearing…

Okay, not **that **unsexy.

Sweat trickled down his face, causing his hair to curl around his ears. His face was on fire; he was dying -_dying_- and she was taking her sweet time. How could it take her so long to change her clothes?!

He closed his eyes.

Then immediately snapped them open again. Upon closing them, he had gotten a mental image of Harusame scantily clad and that was something he did not want to have floating about in his head when she was behind him like that. 

He studied the wall intently. _If you're strong, you live. If you're weak, you die. If you give in to temptation and look, you're dead, Sojiro. _He told himself, _She'll kill you if you peek at her. And you don't want to die before you get a chance with her._

"You can look now." Harusame said shyly. She was surprised Sojiro had been so obedient. He'd hardly moved a muscle as disrobed. 

His shoulders slumped and he sighed in relief, turning back around on the bed. She was wearing a pair of gray pants and one of her long-sleeved white shirts. All that for nearly the exact same outfit she already had on? Inwardly, he groaned. 

"I'm glad you didn't peep." She told him matter-of-factly, "I didn't really want to kill you."

"I would never look, Harusame." He smiled cheerfully, "You told me not to and I do as I'm told."

"That's true. You are a very good listener." She patted his cheek softly, "I like that in you, Sou."

He blushed. "There are lots of things I like about you too, Harusame." He said slowly, "But most of all, I like to see you smile."

She turned pink, twisting the end of her sleeve around and around in her hands, smiling bashfully. She liked him so much and it flustered her that she was so awkward about it. Why couldn't she just grow up and admit all her feelings to him? She felt like a little kid with a school-girl crush. She was nineteen. Why couldn't she act more like her age?? "Um, well, thanks, Sojiro." She stammered.

"Harusame?"

"Hmm?" She blinked. He had sounded terrified when he said her name and she wondered what was up.

"You…You know I like you a lot, right?"

"Of course." Her face flushed several shades of scarlet.

"And, well, I'm not getting any younger, you know? I'm twenty-three. I want to start thinking about the future." He took one of her hands in his, stared down at it, "Do you understand?"

Silence. 

She was beet red. Her hand was cold in his. She trembled slightly, not having any clue how to respond to this. _What do I say? What do I say!? I want to be with him. I…I do love him. But…But…But…What do I say?? _

"We've been living in the same house for six years. And you've known for five years that I really like you. But I feel like we're getting nowhere. Do you want to be together or not, Harusame?" He looked up at her, his blue eyes wide and frightened.

She stared at him stupidly, her mouth hanging open. Her heart was pounding wildly within her chest. "I…I love you a lot, Sou, and I want to be with you. But I'm not sure I'm ready for…I don't know…I'm sorry." She bowed her head, not able to look at him.

His hand flickered towards her, then, frowning lightly, he drew it back. She was crying silently; he could see tears trickling off her face and into her lap. Her shoulders shook, her hands trembled, her chest heaved with every sob.

It broke Sojiro's heart.

"It's okay, Harusame." He drew her into his arms, "You have nothing to be sorry about. If you're not ready yet…" He smiled faintly, hugging her tightly, "I heard the most important thing from you and that's what matters. I know you love me. And I love you."

Sniffling, she buried her face in his chest. He held her close, his face in her hair. "I could wait for you forever." He told her softly, "But you really need to think about what you want. Five years is a long time. I know you're young and you don't know yet. But you need to think about it."

"I will." She whispered, "I'll think about it."

He brushed back her bangs, kissing her forehead. "Let's go to bed, Harusame."

"Okay."

@}--,--'---

Kietsu tossed and turned in her bed. She was having a bad dream about monsters and dark places and neither her mama nor her papa were there to save her. She jolted awake, her little body twisted among the sheets. She felt cold and wet.

"Mama…" She whispered, "Papa. Hafta find Mama and Papa." 

Disentangling herself from her blankets, she crawled out of bed and rose to her feet. Padding through the darkness, she slid open the shoji leading into the hall and wandered off in search of her parents.

She knew well enough which room was theirs and stopped outside the door. Suppose they were…gone? What would she do if the monster had got them? "Mama? Mama, you there?"

Inside the room, Kamatari lifted his head slightly, peering through the shadows. He had been asleep, arms around Gesshoku, his head on her chest, but awoke when he thought he heard Kietsu. He shifted as much as he could; his wife had her fingers wrapped around a clump of his hair. 

"Papa??"

Yes, the little girl certainly was looking for them. He wondered if she'd had a nightmare. Occasionally, she woke up from bad dreams and came in search of them.

He managed to free his hair from Gessho's iron grasp, then made his way through the moonlight to the bedroom door. Sliding open the shoji, he did indeed find Kietsu standing there.

She looked up at him, her face unusually grave in the pale moonlight. "Papa, I…I…" Her face crumpled, her voice wavered, and she burst into tears. "I peed…"

"Well, let's get you cleaned up then, Sweetness." Sighing, he lifted her into his arms. She was indeed rather wet and that familiar urine scent hung heavy on the air. This was by far his least favorite part about being a father.

About an hour later, he settled back into bed, his arms once more around his slumbering wife. He had to clean the little girl, change her clothes, find her new bedding. Then she'd insisted he stay with her until she fell back to sleep, asking the whole time for drinks and stories and songs. By the time she drifted off, he was exhausted. 

He stared off into the darkness waiting for sleep to claim him. Gessho had immediately latched onto his arm and she sighed in her sleep. Half a smile crossed his face. _Eh, I suppose I wouldn't want it any other way. But for such a little kid, she's tremendous amounts of work_. _She keeps me up at night, makes a mess of the place, terrorizes us endlessly. Gessh and I are too alike and Kietsu is so much like us. She's not a kid, she's a little monster…_

Then he frowned.

__

…And Gesshoku wants another one?

@}--,--'---

****

Hee hee…Kietsu wet the bed! I try to pattern her after me as a small child. I was in my terrible twos for ten years!


	8. Maybe the Time is Right

@}--,--'---

February 7th 

"Wake up, Sleepy."

Kamatari rolled over onto his stomach. Sunlight was filtering into the room and it made his eyes hurt. He felt like he'd just fallen asleep; how could it be morning already? "No…" He pulled the blankets over his head, trying to hide from the morning.

"Come on out from under there." Gesshoku's voice drifted through the layers of covers, "Kietsu needs a bath and it's your turn."

"I got up with her last night." He mumbled, "Doesn't that count?"

"I know you got up with her. But that's not the same as giving her a bath." She replied. Giving their daughter a bath was like begging for trouble. She didn't dislike it; far from it. She _loved_ getting a bath. That was what made it so dangerous. She splashed like nobody's business. Neither of them was fond of getting their clothing wet, so bathing Kietsu was not a savory task.

"You're seriously considering bringing another child like that into this house?" He questioned from his position under the bedding. She had sat down beside him and her hand was rested on his back, fingers caressing softly, trying to entice him to come out.

"Well, yes. I am considering it. The little lady is a joy. Think about it. You loved watching her when she was a baby; seeing her grow and learn. Her first steps, her first words…The first time she called you 'Papa' you cried. You mean to tell me you don't want all that joy again, Kamatari?"

Oh, she was clever. He was smiling, thinking fondly of those memories. He distinctly remembered when she called him "Papa." He had been sitting on a small bench in the garden, Kietsu on his lap. She was about a year and a half old and a butterfly had fluttered by, flittering through her line of vision. She had turned to him, looking up, her eyes wide with innocence. "Look, Papa!" She pointed after it, a knowing smile on her face. 

And he had burst into tears.

He considered that tender moment. If there were no more children, there would be no more memories like that. "All right." He pulled back the blankets, looking at her evenly, a sparkle in his eyes, "Let's do it."

"Right now?" She inquired, trying to stifle laughter at the sight of his tousled hair.

"No!" He threw a pillow at her and she giggled. He caught her in his arms as she dodged a second attack, pulling her into his clutches. He kissed her forehead then her nose before moving down to capture her mouth with his. "We'll get Sonomi to keep an eye on Kietsu tonight. She owes us anyway, so now we can call in the favor. Then we'll go out, me and you. Maybe bring Sou and Harusame along; they still need a little push. Then we'll come back here and do what we need to do. How's that sound?"

"Sounds like a plan." She smiled sweetly, "But that doesn't mean you get out of giving her a bath."

"Dammit."

"Oh, all right. We'll do it together." She compromised, "Come on; get dressed."

"Yes, Ma'am!"

@}--,--'---

Harusame opened her eyes that morning to find herself face to face with Sojiro. He was still asleep, curled up on his side, his breathing deep and even. His eyelashes swept across his cheeks, his dark bangs fell across his forehead. His mouth was slightly open and one of his hands clutched the blanket held up to his chin.

He was incredibly cute when he was asleep.

She was content to lay there and watch him sleep, but then it occurred to her that if she was still in bed and Sojiro was still in bed, Sonomi, Kamatari and possibly even Gesshoku would never let her hear the end of it.

She blushed at this thought. No, it would be better to get up and let Sojiro sleep. She was awake, after all, and the day had already begun.

She sat up on the bed, stretching. She felt like crap after all the crying she had done the night before. Her gaze came to rest on the unwanted yukata. _Maybe a dip in the springs would be nice…_

Checking to make sure Sojiro was still asleep, she squirmed out of her pajamas and slid on the silk robe. _Ooo…This does feel good. The silk is nice. Maybe I should get a kimono. Maybe…Nah. _

She pulled her cloak on over the yukata and stole out of the room, heading down for a dip in the springs.

She stopped at the counter in the tea room, asking the young woman who worked there for a towel. Passing by Kumori, who greeted her guests as they came and went, she bowed politely, murmuring "Ohayo gozaimasu, Aoiroten-san."

The matriarch bobbed her head in response and the young woman wandered on to the private spring, which friends of Gesshoku and Nisshoku had permission to use.

"Ohayo! Ohayo, Haru!"

She smiled at the sound of little Kietsu's voice. The girl was grinning at her, a big fluffy towel wrapped around her. She looked like she'd just had the biggest thrill of her life. 

Her parents, on the other hand, looked like they'd been caught in a tsunami. 

Kamatari's hair hung limply around his face; droplets of water ran down his forehead. The silk of his clothing was wet and rumpled and he looked as if he'd been half-drowned. Gessho had her hair tied back in a short ponytail, but her longish bangs were plastered to her forehead and her glasses were covered with flecks of water. She wasn't as soaked as her beloved husband, but she was also creating a puddle on the floor.

"I clean!" Kietsu beamed, her impish smile causing Harusame to laugh, "Got my bath!"

"It looks like your Mama and Papa got a bath too." The young woman told her.

She looked over her shoulder and her grin widened at the sight of her soggy parents. "Hai." She nodded in confirmation, "They clean too." She giggled.

"She really enjoys her baths." Kamatari explained, grabbing an extra towel and handing it to Gessho, "She enjoys them a lot."

"I can tell." Harusame smiled.

"Go get your clothes on, Baby." Gessho pulled off her glasses, wiping them on the towel so she could see. She still hated them and hardly ever wore them, but she did need to see on occasion and she certainly couldn't see out of them when they were all wet. "Then we'll go get some breakfast and see Obasan."

"An' I say 'ohayo, Obasan' an' do this." She bowed dramatically, causing all three adults to smile.

"That's right. Now go get dressed. If you need help, I'll come."

"Okay!" The little girl scampered off in search of her clothes.

"Darling," Kamatari looked at his wife, "Would you like to stay here and have a soak with Harusame? I'll take Kietsu to see your mother. You need some time to relax and think a little. Try to unwind. I want you in a good mood when we go out later." He pushed back a lock of her hair, kissed her on the cheek.

She nodded in agreement, "All right. But don't you go getting stressed out either. I want you relaxed too." She ran one of her fingers across his cheek, traced his lips, reached up to kiss him softly. "I love you."

Harusame stared at the floor, blushing at their brazen attitudes. She couldn't even imagine being so open about her relationship with Sojiro. They were so shameless with their affections and Harusame was embarrassed for them. Gessho and Sojiro were the same age. Why was she so much more capable of handling her feelings than he was?

" 'M all ready!" Kietsu came prancing back. She had managed to dress herself, even if her kimono was slightly askew. Kamatari bent to straighten her clothes, smiling; his daughter was the height of fashion.

"Well then, Sweetpea, let's go see your Grandmother." He took her by the hand.

"Mama come too?" She looked over her shoulder at Gessho.

"Honey, you go on with Papa. I'm going to stay here and have some Mama time." She stroked back the toddler's hair, "You be a good girl for Papa."

"I always good."

Her mother smiled wryly. "I'll see you later, Kiddo." She watched fondly as they wandered away, hand in hand. Then she turned to Harusame. "Well then…"

"Right." The younger woman nodded.

A few moments later, they were both relaxing in the hot spring. Gessho let her hair down, ducking under the water, her glasses carefully placed on the edge of the spring. Harusame just sat there, the water up to her chin, her eyes closed. 

"Oh, yeah…That feels so good." Gesshoku sank lower in the warm water.

"So, you guys are going out later?" Harusame peered through the steam, looking at her friend.

"Mhm. You and Sou want to come? We're going to have Sonomi watch Kietsu. She owes us a favor any way. We're going out for dinner then we're going to spend time together, just me and him."

"What's the occasion?" 

"Well, we, um, think we want to have another baby." Gessho said slowly, "And, well, we've got to get the mood right for, well, you know."

"Oh." A pause. Then, "Really? That's fantastic!"

"You think so?"

"Yeah. You're both great with Kietsu. You really love her and want the best for her, any one can see that. And you love each other. It's only natural that you have children."

"We're not positive yet, but we think we're ready. I'm not getting any younger, you know. I want another baby before I'm too old."

"You're not old." Harusame shook her head, her wet hair whipping around her face. So they wanted a second child. This was interesting news.

"Not yet. But before you know it, I will be. We all will. Which brings me to my next topic of discussion. What's new with you and Sojiro? Really? Now that Sonomi isn't here to butt in, you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know." She fiddled with a long lock of her hair, "I mean, he still lives at my house and I like having him around. I do love him, Gessho. I love him a lot. But I just don't know. I don't think I'm ready to get married. I'm only nineteen."

"I was eighteen when I got married. It didn't change anything. Well, at least not until I got pregnant. If he loves you, he won't make you give anything up for him. He'll let you be the same person you've always been. Besides, he hasn't come right out and asked you to marry him yet, has he?"

"Well, no. But he keeps implying it. I get the idea he wants to ask me, but he's too shy to go through with it. I kind of just wish he would do it already." She sighed, "Maybe it would be easier to figure out then."

"If he asked you directly, would you say yes?" Gessho inquired.

"Would you have said yes if your marriage wasn't arranged?" Harusame countered.

The older woman made a face and her brow wrinkled. "He never would have asked if our marriage wasn't arranged. He still feels strongly for Shishio, even now. We would still be friends and nothing more. I thought my parents never cared about me. Now I thank them for caring so much. I love him with all my heart, you know."

"I know." A smile crossed the girl's face, then she fell silent for a moment. "How do you deal with the past? Sojiro, he still thinks about it from time to time. And I don't know how to deal with it. What am I supposed to do? What do you do?"

"Well, I listen to him when he talks about it. I let him talk and I let him cry and most of the time I cry with him. The most important thing is that he knows I'm there for him. He knows I love him, even when he does things that hurt me. When Sojiro starts to think about it, let him talk and just listen. That's the best thing you can do."

"Okay. I can do that. I really do love him. I want him to be happy because he had a pretty crummy life. But I don't really know what I'm doing."

"Eh, you don't need to. You just do what feels right." Gessho rose to leave, water streaming off her as she took a towel from where they were folded neatly near her glasses. "No one knows what they're doing until they do it." She wrapped the towel around herself as she stepped out of the spring, then found her glasses. "I'll see you later, Harusame."

"Ja ne." She sank back down into the water, thinking over what they had discussed. She would always be there for Sojiro; she loved him deeply. _I want to be with him. I can't imagine life without him; we've been living together for so long. I think…Yes, I think I know what I want._

She smiled to herself. Gesshoku and Kamatari were so happy and they had a wonderful family. She wanted to be just as happy. _Kietsu…_Her thoughts drifted to the little girl. Kamatari's daughter was so much like him. She was positively adorable. _If Sojiro and I get married, we can have a kid like that someday and…Whoa, I'm getting a little ahead of myself._

But hey, I can dream.

@}--,--'---

You know, I must be the sappiest person on the face of the earth. I was watching "The Iron Giant" today and, whoa Nelly, I cried at the part where the Giant blew itself up! You know, where it's out in space and thinks about Hogarth saying "You are what you chose to be." Then the Giant says "Superman" and flies into the missile. I was definitely crying at that part. I'm such a dork. n_n;;


	9. What You Don't Know, You Can Feel it Som...

****

This is a long one, so brace yourself. n_n

@}--,--'---

"Where are Gessho and Harusame?" Sonomi made herself comfortable across from Kamatari at the chabudai, "And where's Sojiro for that matter?"

"Mama and Haru are in a bath!" Kietsu exclaimed helpfully, trying to pick up something with her chopsticks. "Having Mama time."

Sonomi laughed. "Harusame isn't a mama yet, Kiddo. She and Sojiro aren't even married."

"So?" The little girl gave up on the chopsticks and picked up a piece of squid, "Papa, wha's this?" She waved it up towards his face.

"Eat it." Kamatari told her firmly. Then he looked at Sonomi, "They're relaxing, that's all. I don't know about Sojiro. He must still be asleep. Kietsu, eat!" His gaze whipped back to his daughter, "You know you cannot leave until you finish."

"Hai, Papa." She huffed, poking at her breakfast. Making a horrid face, she looked back up at the two adults.

Sonomi poured herself some tea as Kietsu watched earnestly. She stared at the woman's face, wondering where the feathery scar on her cheek had come from. She still thought that Sonomi was kind of frightening, but couldn't figure out why. She was about to question the scar, but then remembered that her father was always telling her not to stare at people. So she sat there with her mouth open instead.

"Good morning!" 

Sojiro's cheerful voice shattered the little girl's thoughts and she looked up. The young man was smiling cheerfully, like usual. She beamed up at him. "Ohayo, Sou!" She loved Sojiro already. He was so cheerful and friendly; always willing to play with her. 

"Ohayo, Little One. " He ruffled her hair, then sank to the ground beside her, "Does any one know where Harusame is?" 

Kamatari swallowed, "Hot spring. She and Gessh are having a little girl talk."

"How come you're not there then?" Sonomi asked without skipping a beat, sipping her tea.

He stuck his tongue out at her. "I don't do that any more." He said good-naturedly, "At least not in public."

"Oh? Not in public? When then?" Sonomi leaned across the table, one hand under her chin. A sly smile was spread across her face, her eyes held a certain level of mischief.

"Well, sometimes I - Never you mind." He changed his mind mid-sentence. What he didn't want to say was that on occasion he dressed up for Gessho. She always said she loved to see him pretty and he willingly complied. She was just as eccentric as he was and had a thing about seeing him all decked out. He had plans for his favorite kimono later that evening.

"You're blushing! Finish that sentence!" Sonomi leaned farther over the table. She was dying of curiosity now. What was he going to say?

"I'd rather not. My wife would kill me." Came his cheerful reply. He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his face. His cheeks were tinged slightly pink and a secretive smile relaxed his appealing features. 

"Why would I kill you?" 

He looked up. Gesshoku was looking down at him, her skin pink and glowing, her expression one of deep contentment. She looked so serene. He hadn't seen her like that since…_Nah, that's impossible. It's been a long time; a month and a half, since our anniversary. She can't be…Can she? _He shook off that thought, telling himself it was only his imagination. "Oh, no reason, Darling. Sonomi is just pestering me."

"Ah." She settled herself beside him, "Where's Mama?"

"She's busy. The little lady and I saw her earlier."

"You look exceptionally happy today, Gesshoku-san." Sojiro commented politely.

"I feel great!" Came the enthusiastic reply. She was so relaxed after her dip in the springs that she overlooked his calling her 'Gesshoku-san.' She couldn't remember the last time she felt so content.

"Any particular reason?" Sonomi sipped her tea.

A shrug. "Not really. I just feel…good." 

"Happy Mama!" Kietsu chirped. She loved to see her parents happy and in love, even though she didn't realize it. 

"That's right, Sweetie. I'm very happy." Gessho touched the little girl on the nose.

Harusame appeared a little while later, joining the party for breakfast. She was in a fairly decent mood and ignored Sonomi's cracks about her and Sojiro.

"Sonomi," Kamatari began casually, "We need you to watch Kietsu tonight. We're going out for a while."

"What? Me? Why can't Harusame do it? Or even Sojiro. They're better with kids than I am." Sonomi's eyes widened. What was she supposed to do with the kid for an entire evening?

"Harusame and Sojiro are coming with us. Kinda a pre-Valentine's night out. And you don't have a significant other," He was careful not to say she had no man, lest he get another jibe about being a woman, "So you get the baby-sitting job."

The young woman gave him a suspicious look. "And what ulterior motive comes from this evening?" Her eyelids fluttered, lashes sweeping across her cheeks in that alluring, lethal manner of hers.

"Nothing that concerns you." He brushed her off, looking again at Kietsu who was pushing things around in her bowl. 

Harusame smiled smugly. It was nice to be the one who knew what was going on for a change. More often than not she was left in the dark while every one tried to run her life for her. She had a striking suspicion that Sonomi had asked Kamatari for help in some sort of romantic setup to speed along her relationship with Sojiro. The older man was passionate about such things as love and he would try to be helpful. Key word there being _try_.

Well, two could play at that game as well as one. Valentine's Day was in a week. Up until now, Harusame had never really given much thought to her pathetic relationship with Sojiro. _Well then…_She smiled to herself. She was going to woo the socks off Sojiro with no help from Sonomi. Then she'd see who was laughing.

__

But then…She looked down at her traveling clothes. _I do need some help. Maybe I can borrow some clothes from Gessho. She seems more into the wearing a kimono thing now. Hmm…Funny how things work out. Five years ago, she was wearing men's clothes and Kamatari wearing women's. Guess we're all growing up now. I'll talk to Gessho later on. She'll know what to do._

Gesshoku wondered how she would survive the rest of the day until she had her time alone with her husband. It was a rare occasion that they were both in the mood for intimacy. More often than not, Kamatari shied away from Gessho and her advances, even though his body was always telling him otherwise. When he did give in, he tried his best to make it a night to remember and she speculated at what he had in store for that evening. 

"Mama?" 

  
"Uh?" Kietsu was tugging on her sleeve. She looked down at the little girl, taking in her small face, those wide brown eyes. "What is it, Sweetheart?"

"I want to go play." The child demanded. She knew better than to ask her father since he would just pester her about her breakfast and whether or not she had eaten it all. 

"Are you done eating? You finished everything?" She fished her glasses out from somewhere in her sleeve and slid them on. Her daughter had indeed finished every last bite, or at least there was nothing left in her bowl.

"All done!" She folded her arms, waiting for the go-ahead to run off and play. She had eaten everything and she was behaving.

"Go on. But stay inside and don't pester your grandmother."

"Hai, Mama." She kissed her mother softly, then scampered off.

Kamatari watched as his wife hugged their tiny child. She moved with such fluid and grace, without even trying. Gessho appeared unusually…quiet. She was so serene; could she possibly be _that _pleased about their evening together? Well, it had been a month and a half. He smiled, wondering if she knew how hard he fought to keep his sanity around her at night when she was clinging to him.

Then that same thought crept into his mind as before. _She can't be, can she? I mean, what are the chances of…? I think she and I need to talk._ He watched as she rose from the table, pausing to kiss him on the cheek. He flashed her a grin, tweaking her nose, and she stuck out her tongue. "Where are you going, Darling?"

She nearly melted at that ostentatious grin. He had her arm gripped lightly in his hand and he was looking up at her, his brandy brown eyes wide with curiosity. Oh, how she loved that man. She was so happy with him. "I have a few errands to run before later." She touched his cheek, "I'll be back in a little bit."

His sigh was melodramatic as he released her arm. "I suppose I can spare you for a bit, Koishii. But hurry back, there's something I want to talk about."

"All right." She bent to kiss his cheek were her finger had been a moment before, then beckoned to Harusame. "You come with me."

"Okay." Harusame rose and trailed behind her, "Where are we going, Gessho?"

"Well, we have a busy evening ahead of us. You need a kimono and I would like to get a new obi to go with my favorite kimono. And I need something for later too. This is going to be a big night for us. I mean, we do want a baby as the result. I've got to be looking my best."

"How he feels about you has nothing to do with the way you look, you know." Harusame smiled.

"I know." Gessho blushed lightly, "I know I'm not the prettiest thing. I'm awkward and clumsy and all, along with too loud and obnoxious. But, well, I like to look nice for him because he always looks so pretty." Her blush deepened and she looked away.

"What are you blushing for?" Harusame laughed, "He's your husband. I think it's a little more embarrassing for me. We're not married, after all."

"Anyhow, you guys aren't going to be doing what we're doing. Trust me. You guys are just going to dinner with us. What you do after that is no business of mine." The older woman said nonchalantly, skipping on ahead down the path.

Harusame followed behind, watching the other woman as she went. Something about Gesshoku seemed so different. She seemed…Off. _I wonder what's up with her. It's like she's on cloud nine. I wonder…It is possible, unless they haven't…I've heard that you become really calm and serene. Maybe…_"Gessho?"

"Yeah?" She looked over her shoulder at the young woman.

"Is it possible that…I mean, could you, you know, already be pregnant?" She asked meekly.

"What…?" Gesshoku stopped in her tracks, turning to fully look at Harusame. A bewildered expression crossed her face and she peered at her as if trying to figure out why on earth she'd ask something like that.

Harusame took a step back, her eyes widening and her mouth open. "I…I…I mean, well," She rubbed one arm, ran her fingers through her hair, "I know you, Gessho. I know what you're like. And you're way different now. I've never seen you like this before, not even the day you got married. You're so unbelievably happy."

"I wasn't happy last time." Came the skeptical response.

"But you want it this time. Of course you'll be happy. You've been so perky since we got here. It's…bizarre." She finished lamely, praying to the gods Gessho wouldn't get mad at her for suggesting it and possibly ruining her plans by suggesting it.

"Well…I suppose it is possible…" Gesshoku's hand rose tentatively to her waist, "But I don't know. I'd like it, I guess, but…I really don't want to get my hopes up. I mean, I couldn't be that lucky, you know? We only decided we were sure this morning. Things don't work out like that, Kiddo."

"Still…It could happen, right?"

"Of course. There's always that possibility."

Harusame nodded. She wasn't a mother herself yet, but she was a woman and she knew what she saw in the other woman and she knew what she had seen in the spring.

@}--,--'---

The shopping excursion flew by quickly. Gesshoku was hardly aware of what went on in the shops of Kobe; she had far too much on her mind. What Harusame said could very well be possible. Dates and times flittered through her mind -_Christmas Eve; sometime back in the fall_- her train of thought seeming to derail with every turn it took. _October it had been, the time before last. That would make it four whole months and -Oh, Sweet Buddha in Heaven!_

Stopping momentarily to set down her package upon returning home, she hurried off in search of her husband.

Kamatari was seated at the desk in the small study room they used for bookkeeping at the springs, pouring over a ledger of her mother's. Kumori had been grooming him to take over, even though he really didn't want to, and she was pleased to see him in the study more often lately.

He looked up when she burst into the room. Her eyes were wide with a sort of crazed look, her cheeks flushed red. Her hair was a wild tangle around her face and she looked out of breath. "What on earth is wrong, Darling?"

She flew to him in a flurry of excitement, crawling into his lap, throwing her arms around him, kissing his cheek. He looked at her curiously, his brow furrowed in thought. She laughed at his perplexed expression, kissing him again before launching into an explanation.

"Harusame and I were talking and some things she said really started to get to me. So I've been thinking all morning and - Wait, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" She was suddenly dreadful that he would say he changed his mind. 

"I was wondering…Now Darling, I know you'll think this is an excuse for getting out of tonight, but I'm being serious. I was wondering if maybe you're already pregnant. You've seemed different lately."

He watched as her eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly. Was she upset? She looked kind of shocked. Then she grinned, hugging him again. "That's what I was going to tell you. Harusame thinks I am. And you know, I think so too. I think, that time back in October, I think that's when and now I'm just so excited I can't-."

He silenced her thrilled chatter with a kiss, his lips meeting hers softly. This would save him a lot of trouble. He loved her to death, loved being sweet with her, but hated the pressure of being intimate. He was always afraid he wouldn't be able to give her what she wanted. "Congratulations, Koishii." He lightly touched her belly, "But we shouldn't celebrate too much until you go see a doctor. You know, just to be sure."

She nodded cheerily. "I'll go. I just wanted to tell you first." She stroked his cheek, then kissed him. "I'll be back in a little bit."

He smiled after her as she left the room. She was so happy; he hoped she'd be back with good news.

@}--,--'---

****

Eh, I'm tired. I've been having bouts with insomnia lately and whew, I'm so sleepy. This chapter kinda sucks, doesn't it? X_x I'm hungry too. Bleh…I'm sick of vacation! And I have 2 more weeks…*whimper*


	10. He Used to Stay Awake To Drive the Dream...

****

I LOVE MY LITTLE SISSY!!!

['Nuff said.]

@}--,--'---

Sojiro watched as Gesshoku and Kamatari toasted to one another. They were having another baby. The two of them were overjoyed with themselves. He was envious. They had gotten on with their lives, started a family. And they were so happy.

It wasn't fair.

He didn't begrudge them a second child; he was actually quite happy for them. He just wondered when Harusame would stop being so afraid of him and when he would have the nerve to propose to her. He wanted a chance for a family of his own and all the other good stuff that came with it.

"I'm so excited for you!" Harusame squealed enthusiastically, "This is wonderful!"

Sojiro's cerulean gaze turned to his pretty young companion. She was wearing the exquisite kimono that she had bought that morning. It was silk, finely crafted, and a rich shade of charcoal gray. It had been embroidered with little blue birds and the obi was a perfect match, a smoky blue in color. Around her neck and resting on her collarbone was the sapphire charm he had given her for Christmas five years prior.

She looked positively stunning.

It was hard to resist the urge to sweep her into his arms and kiss her. He felt dreadful, lusting after her like that, but who could resist? She looked over at him, batting those long eyelashes shyly, a smile on her lips. Was she _trying _to do this to him? Was it all some sort of scheme to get…To get what? She had told him that she didn't want to be with him yet.

He was thoroughly confused.

"Isn't it great, Sou?" She asked breathlessly, "Aren't they fantastic parents already?" He could see excitement in her earthy eyes. She was positively thrilled for them and it showed.

"They are wonderful parents." He smiled politely, his thoughts a million miles away from their friends, "And they will give this baby the world." 

"Thanks, guys." Gessho smiled, her cheeks rosy, her eyes shining. "I feel so stupid that it took this long to realize it. I've been busy with Kietsu -a lot busier than usual now that she's all over the place exploring- and I didn't even notice. I guess I only thought about it now that I want a baby."

"We'll, I'm happy for you!" Harusame chirped. 

"We're happy too." Kamatari beamed. He was feeling fiercely protective of his mate; already worrying over her delicate state. She was the world to him and he didn't want anything to happen to her. But he was delighted at the idea of another child. If some one had told him, years ago when he worked for Shishio-sama, that he would have not one, but two children, he would have laughed in their face. But he did love her something powerful and he was glad they had reproduced.

She smiled at him and he drew her face up for a kiss, his fingers under her chin. He didn't understand why she thought she wasn't pretty; she was positively shining. She had those warm brown eyes, always full of laughter. He could see the good in her every time she looked him in the eyes and to him she was beautiful.

He couldn't wait to get her alone later.

They decided to call it an early evening, seeing as all of their thoughts were scattered in a thousand directions. The day had not quite gone as planned, even though it had pleasant results. Instead of lingering at the restaurant, the two couples returned to the Aoiroten-onsan as soon as dinner had been finished, both of the men having plans for their respective women and not realizing the women had the same plans.

@}--,--'---

"Sojiro?"

"Yeah?" The young man yawned sleepily. They had gone for a walk after parting ways with Kamatari and Gessho, admiring the clear, February sky. They had held hands for most of the stroll, he very aware of her close proximity. He relished having her so near, their skin in contact; he could smell the haze of cherry blossoms that had followed her all evening. It drove him wild.

"C-can you…Can you…" She hesitated, blushing deeply; he could see the bright color of her face even in the pale moonlight.

"Can I what?" He looked at her, a sudden desire to kiss her seizing him. She looked some sort of wood nymph; wrapped in a blue travel cloak, her hair shorn short, her eyes wide. Her face was lit with that wonderful blush; her lips parted slightly.

"Can you…let go of my hand…?" She whispered.

"I'd rather not." He was feeling brave that night. Rather than let go of her hand, he took the other too, staring down at her, his boyish face slightly pink. 

She looked down at the ground, trying to avoid his gaze. She had felt audacious earlier in the evening, but now he was taking control and she shied away. Then she looked up and her gaze met his bright blue eyes. She could see herself reflected in them; see all of his sorrows and all of his hopes.

It was under the watchful gaze of the moon that he leaned over to kiss her fully for the first time; his lips softly meeting hers, parting them slightly; tasting, searching, exploring. It was a surprisingly chaste kiss -he was a polite man, after all- but still caused her to blush deeply to the very roots of her hair.

"I love you." He told her softly, his fingers tightening around hers, "I…I really do love you." 

She nodded silently, her wide eyes telling him she loved him just as much. He smiled gently, his heart still pounding at his own boldness. He had expected her to slap him or much worse, but she had responded in turn, returning his inexperienced kiss.

His heart sang with joy. He wanted to propose, but well, that would have to wait for another time. He had had enough bravery for one day, yet that evening had been plenty.

Tightening his grip on her hand, he led her back to the house.

@}--,--'---

"Can you believe our luck?" Gessho stole across the room to the window, looking out at the starry winter sky. "We don't have to wait nearly as long and we don't have to go through the drama of trying for it."

__

Stop pacing…Are you warm enough? Do you feel okay? Do you need anything? A million more thoughts raced through Kamatari's mind, but he simply nodded, saying "Come over here to me, Darling." He was reclined on their bed, watching her every step as she moved throughout the room, changing out of her kimono, combing her hair.

"Why?" She shot him a teasing glance over her shoulder.

A charming smile crossed his face. "So I can hold you in my arms, kiss you and tell you sweet things because I love you."

Feigning reluctance, she settled beside him on the bed, slightly away from him. This was a game she played often enough when she knew he was feeling particularly randy. She liked him to think he was the one who was in charge when really he was at her mercy.

He reached over, touching her cheek, brushing back her hair. She barely moved, even though she was melting at his touch. His fingers were so soft, his skin so smooth. She had loved him since the day she met him and had always dreamed of being with him like this, even when he was still a woman.

"Don't tease, Koishii. I just want to talk." He said softly, "I'm not in the mood for anything else."

"All right." She slid over closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "What do you want to talk about?"

"We're having another baby. I think that gives us plenty to talk about." He put an arm around her, holding her close to him. "You feeling okay?"

She nodded. "I feel great. Are you excited?"

"Of course I am. I love the little lady and I'll love this baby too. You're the only woman who would ever give me the chance to be a father." He kissed her forehead, "I love you, Koishii. Thank you for giving me wonderful children."

She cuddled up to him, her arm around him, her hand resting on his chest. "Even if you didn't love me like this, I would have been willing to have a baby for you. I would do anything for you."

He looked at her for a moment, knowing she was telling the truth. He was quiet for a long time, holding her protectively. He hadn't realized just how devoted to him she was and it made him feel like a jerk; knowing she would have thrown her life away for him and get nothing in return. "I never would have asked that of you. You know I'm a better man than that, right?"

"I know. But I love you that much. I have loved you forever. When you were working for Shishio and I met you, you were so sad and lonely. You tried to hide it. You and Sojiro aren't that different, you know. He hid everything with those smiles and you…You gave your heart away and you didn't know how to get it back. You tried to hide yourself in your cheerfulness. But I knew. I could see how lost you were and it made my heart ache."

"Do I still make you sad, Darling?" He rubbed her back gently, "I never want you to hurt because of me."

"You make me sad when I can see you hurting and not know how to help you. But mostly," She smiled mischievously, "You make me extremely happy." She nuzzled her head under his chin, nearly causing him to start purring. More than anything, they both liked just being together.

"You make me happy too, Gessh." He stroked her cheek, comfortable with their current situation. It always began this way, when he held her in his arms. Then he would seek faith in her kiss and comfort in her heart. He was a man who needed a lot of reassurance and she gave it to him. "Things aren't going to change at all because of this baby, are they?"

"Of course things will change. But between you and me? Never. Love doesn't need to be divided; it simply grows so that there is enough." Her finger traced along his collarbone; she could feel when he swallowed, feel the pounding of his heart. "You will always be number one in my heart."

He shivered with pleasure, his throat constricting, eyes filling with tears. "Don't do this, Darling. Don't make me feel like an animal tonight. I don't want to lust after you when you're in this state. It seems wrong." He felt horrible, terrible, like everything he ever hated. He loathed that dirty lusty feeling.

"Don't cry, Love." She cradled his head in her hands, wiping away his tears, kissing him softly on the forehead. "It's okay. Nothing you feel for me is wrong. You're my husband; you're allowed to desire me."

"You've got my baby inside you; I shouldn't be thinking naughty thoughts." He whispered, "I'm above all that. I'm not like that. I'm a good boy."

"Oh, Kamatari, don't be like this. I know you're a good man. I won't ask you to do anything you don't want to do." Her hand ran lovingly across his cheek, her eyes meeting his as she looked up at him. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable. Here." She took his hand, moving it down to her stomach, "Let the baby know you love it."

"You've gained weight, haven't you? We didn't even realize…" His smile was whimsical; his eyes gleamed with pleasure as he pulled her onto his lap, hugging her, his arms around her waist. He remembered last time; that soft feel of her tummy as Kietsu grew. "I must be as blind as you."

She giggled. "No, Love, you haven't seen me naked in a long time. And I didn't even think about it because I always gain weight this time of year since we're not as busy running around. Not as much business, not as much to do. I get lazy in the winter."

"Yeah, you do." He teased, tickling her mercilessly in the rib cage. She laughed, snorting a little, clinging to him the way she did in her sleep. This prompted him to tickle more and soon she was collapsed on the bed, sprawled out on his lap, begging him to stop.

"No! Stop; Kamatari, you're going to kill me! Stop it; Stop It; STOP IT! I'm going to vomit if you don't stop! Please…" Tears streamed down her face, "I can't stand it!"

"I'll stop." He kissed her fully on the lips, teasing, taunting, and getting her all flustered. "I was just having fun." He said innocently.

"Maybe fun for you…" She pulled him down on top of her, returning the kiss. "I find this more fun."

He smiled, holding her close, keeping her safe. It wouldn't be much longer until her couldn't hold her like that and that thought saddened him. Keeping her safe was the one thing he could always do and he never wanted to let her down. He nestled his face into her hair, whispering that he loved her, but got no response.

She had fallen asleep beneath him.

@}--,--'---

Sojiro held Harusame in his arms that night, keeping her close as they slept. She had her back to him, but her small body fit nicely into the curve of his. He had lain there awake for a long time, marveling at the fact she would allow him to touch her while she slept. He couldn't believe how wonderful she was.

__

I'm going to make you so happy, Harusame. I'm going to be the most wonderful husband ever. We'll have a wonderful life.

Just as soon I figure out how to propose.

He sighed, tightening her grip around her. He would never let her go. He loved her far too much. He just had to figure out how to prove it.

@}--,--'---

****

You know, that tickle scene is me. I'm so damn ticklish. Josh desensitized me once, then so did Evil, but it comes and goes. You can't touch me without me laughing. I'm hopeless. 

We got a router. So now I'm posting this from MY laptop. Huzzah!


	11. Sometimes I Don't Let Go

**__**

Oh, writer's block; oh writer's block, how could you be so mean…? 

I have intense writer's block right now. It's driving me nuts…I have nothing to do and I can't even write! *wails* 

  
Sorry for the long time before I updated -^_^-

@}--,--'---

February 8th 

Sonomi stared up at the ceiling. She was exhausted, yet couldn't fall asleep. It was late, she had no clue what time it was. Yet sleep eluded her. Kietsu had worn her out. The little girl was a bundle of energy. She had thought the evening would be a piece of cake. How late could a two-year-old stay up? 

She had sorely underestimated the child of Kamatari and Gesshoku.

Kietsu wanted to play with every single toy she owned in turn and dragged Sonomi through the whole house. She gave her a tour of the springs, pointing out her favorite places, her father's favorite places, her mother's favorite places…She had wanted a bath, which Sonomi flat out refused, wanted snacks, drinks, games and stories.

The whole evening had been nothing but "Mi; Mi! C'mere, Mi! Lookit this!" and Kietsu running back and forth, bringing things to her, showing her things.

It was around ten-thirty when she finally convinced Kietsu it was time for bed. At this point, she was ready to fall asleep standing up and wanted to get the girl to sleep. Where could a little kid possibly get so much energy?

She helped the little girl change her clothes and get ready for bed. Then she tucked her in, covering her with several blankets, finding her stuffed kitsune. Kietsu snuggled up, comfortable in her little Western bed, hugging the stuffed toy, and asked for another story.

Sonomi thought hard, trying to figure out a good story to tell the little girl. A grin crossed her face as she recalled all of their escapades from back before Kamatari and Gessho were married. So she began spinning a tail of all kinds of things the five had experienced, the child listening with interest.

After Kietsu finally fell asleep, Sonomi dragged herself down the hall to her own room and flopped down into bed. She was so tired she didn't even bother changing her clothes. She lay they, staring into the darkness, wondering where in hell Kamatari and Gessho found the energy to take care of that wild child every day.

The sandman avoided her that night.

@}--,--'---

Harusame woke sometime early in the morning. The sky was gray and the air in the room chilly. She snuggled back down under the blankets and deeper into Sojiro's arms. She was comfortable there; it felt natural to be held by him. He was still sleeping, holding her close, his breathing deep and shallow.

She lay there, thinking about her relationship with Sojiro. She thought of him and all the years they'd spent together and she smiled to herself. Life was going well. Sure, they'd had some crazy adventures, but things always worked out. She wondered if he would ever be brave enough to ask her to marry him and what she would say if he did.

__

What would I tell him? I do love him so much…But get married? I don't know…It would hurt him a lot if I said "no" but what if I say yes and it turns out to be a big mistake? What if our marriage is a total disaster? Not everybody can have happy endings like Gessho and Kamatari.

What if it's better that we're just friends?

And what if I'm being silly?

She sighed. Sojiro hadn't even proposed to her yet and she was a nervous wreck. That was not a good thing.

Her thoughts drifted back to the previous night. He had kissed her under the moonlight, causing her to blush like mad. _Why can't I get over my shyness? Why am I such a big baby? _She sighed a second time. _This is so complicated…_

__

Sojiro says he loves me. But love…Love's such an old fashioned word. The way people think about it…It's not all romance and candle-light and roses. Sometimes it hurts so much…And sometimes it's so confusing. I mean, look at Gessho…She was in love with Kamatari for so long and he thought he was a woman. That must've been so hard on her.

And Sou…he's got a lot to deal with of his own. All of that crap Shishio fed him must still be rotting in the back of his brain. He is different now from when I first met him, but he's still suffering. Even if his smiles are real now…Even if he doesn't hide behind them…Shishio still lurks in his mind.

…How do I get rid of him?

She twisted around in his arms, turning to face him. His dark hair fell lightly across his forehead and a smile was on his face. He looked so positively _genki _when he slept. If only he could be like that all the time…Poor Sojiro had lost his innocence when he was no more than a child and had struggled for a long time to get it back.

She wanted to be the one to put the light into his eyes.

@}--,--'---

Gessho stretched and yawned. 

It was late morning and she felt lazy for having slept in so long, but she had been tired after a busy day. Kamatari was flittering around the room, searching for his clothes. She propped herself up on one elbow, watching as he moved around. It was odd to wake up to the bed beside her empty; she was used to being underneath him when she woke.

She flopped back down on the bed, stretching a second time. Cold weather made all her joints stiff and the bedroom had potential to get chilly. She ran her fingers through her hair, then her hand traveled down to her waist. She rubbed her belly, wondering what kind of child this baby would be. Kietsu was boisterous and carefree. She was so much like her father…But would this baby be different? She herself had tendencies to be quiet and withdrawn at times, like Nisshoku. Maybe this child would be more like that…

But did she want a child like that? Nissho was difficult and overbearing…She was cold and stand-offish. What would she do with a child like her sister? A frown crossed her face. _Eh, I'm worrying before I even have any cause to worry…_

"Oh, you're awake. Morning, Darling." Kamatari smiled at her as she fumbled around for her glasses. He was wearing an extra long-sleeved shirt under his gi; it was positively frigid that morning. 

She slid her glasses on and watched him as he combed his short hair. "Ohayo." She yawned. Rising to a sitting position, one of the blankets slid off her shoulders. She shivered. "It's freezing in here." She drew the blanket back up; it still retained some of the warmth from her body as she slept.

"It's freezing outside as well. You'd better dress warmly. I don't want you getting sick." He pulled his haori on over his gi, wrapping it tightly around himself. Then he crossed the room to her, sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling, Koishii?"

She made a face. "I'm fine. We're not going to go through all of this again, are we?" She distinctly remembered how he had hovered over her while she was pregnant with Kietsu; how overprotective he'd been. It had driven her mad; she was so used to taking care of herself.

"Oh, let me have my fun." He grinned puckishly, his voice sassy and full of amusement. His eyes sparkled and she thumped him on the arm.

"Torture, you mean. Fun at _my_ expense. I don't enjoy it at all." She turned away, her arms folded across her chest.

He pouted a little. "I just love you, that's all. I don't want to see anything bad happen to another person I love."

__

Another person I love…He means Shishio. Her heart cried for him. Would he ever get over his loss? She was patient -heaven knows she was patient- but she couldn't go one forever with him living in the past like that. It was killing her slowly. She looked back at him. "Nothing bad will happen to me. Nothing bad happened with Kietsu, did it?"

A light frown crossed his face. "Darling, I can't help but worry. What would I do without you in my life? There would be nothing for me; nothing at all. How would I take care of Kietsu alone? I need you by my side. I can't do it alone." He stroked her cheek, his fingers cold, yet loving and warm. 

She smiled softly, responding to his touch by leaning into the caress. He did have her best interest in mind, after all. She was glad he was so attentive. He was the kind of person who put his whole heart and soul into anything he did. "I would never leave you alone. I wouldn't leave you for anything. And I would never leave Kietsu."

Right on cue, the little girl tore into the room. She clambered up onto the bed, crawling into her mother's lap to share the blanket. "It's cold." She chattered.

  
"Of course it's cold, Sweetness." Her father told her fondly, "Didn't you see all the snow?"

She frowned at him, her brown eyes full of tears. "Snow is bad! It means Oba-san won't come home." She reminded him.

"So it does, Little Lady. But I'm sure Nisshoku will try her best to get here to see you." He said softly, wondering if Nissho had planned on coming home at all, "Did you have fun with Sonomi last night?" He smoothly changed the subject.

"Hai!" Kietsu nodded cheerfully up at him from where she sat in her mama's arms, "We played and she told me stories!"

"Oh? What kind of stories?" He tipped his head to one side, regarding his daughter.

"Stories 'bout you an' Mama!" She laughed, "You got stoled by the sake man!"

A blush crossed Kamatari's face at the mention of Seijiro Hiko the 13th kidnapping him for sake money. He had hoped that story would never leak out to the general public because it was embarrassing. But then, Sonomi had never cared if she embarrassed other people or not.

Kietsu snuggled up to her mother, trying to get warm. It had been cold in her bedroom that morning and she was all shivery. Her mama was so warm there in all those blankets…She looked up at Gessho, taking in her serene expression. Something was…different…about her. She looked different. Same hair, same eyes, nose and mouth, but nonetheless, something about her was different. 

The little girl's gaze shifted downward. Mama's lap seemed softer than usual. Maybe it was because of the blankets…Kietsu shrugged, cuddling up in Gessho's arms. "Almost my birthday." She reminded her.

"Yes, Little One, it is." Her mother nodded in agreement, "You're growing up so fast. I remember when you were a tiny baby."

"Mama, why dun you an' Papa have another baby? I wanna sister like Aoi." The girl said matter-of-factly, "It's boring here an' I have no one to play with."

Kamatari opened his mouth to tell her, but Gesshoku cut him off with a warning glance. Then she looked back at their daughter. "You want a sister, Kietsu? Is that what you want?"

"Yup! That's what I want fer my birthday!" She nodded to confirm this, "I wanna sister."

Her parents grinned at one another. Kamatari now understood. Gessho wanted to wait to tell her…It would be a birthday present for the child. Oh, Kietsu would be so happy with that…

@}--,--'---

Sojiro woke to find Harusame with her face pressed up against his chest. She was snuggled next to him, her arms around him. He blushed lightly, happy that she was so close to him. Her body radiated warmth and love. He felt a million emotions rushing through his body, causing his spine to tingle. 

"I love you…" He whispered.

She shifted in his arms, mumbling something incomprehensible, her dark brown eyes blinking open. "You say something, Sou…?" She yawned.

"Oh, no." He smiled cutely, "Nothing at all." No new bravery. He had used it up the night before.…Maybe later. He wanted to tell her so badly just how much it was he loved her, but he was far too shy. Instead, he released her from his grasp and crawled out of bed. 

His bare feet hit the cold floor and he shivered. "It's pretty cold today." He told her, glancing over his shoulder, "I have an idea we'll be spending the day inside drinking tea."

She smiled at him. That didn't sound so bad. Maybe they could talk…Maybe they would both feel courageous and maybe…

Maybe he would finally propose. 

Just maybe.

@}--,--'---

****

Geez, this took me FOREVER, didn't it?? I'm soooooooo sorry! I've had terrible writer's block and only got over it today . I don't know when I'll next update; tomorrow will be busy and Sunday I'm moving back into my dorm. 

Been getting lots of good Pink Floyd from Drew…I have some of the best songs now! Make sure you check out the link to my fanart posted at deviantART; some of it was inspired by Pink Floyd! ^^v


	12. What Are the Feelings I've Been Feeling?

****

Well, here I am back at school. Classes started today and it wasn't too bad…It's just so damn cold out! . A friend of mine from HS transferred here and lives down the hall, so that's exciting. ^^v

Last night was kinda scary...Around 5:00 this morning, some one was knocking on doors! I woke up when I heard some one jiggling our knob. It scared me like all get-out...I could hear who ever it was going up and down the hall, doing it continuously…I asked RAKeri about it, but she knew nothing O.o;;

@}--,--'---

It was a gorgeous morning, despite the cold. The sun gleamed brightly off the new-fallen snow, creating a beautiful, tempting white wonderland in the springs. They were enticing conditions, perfect for any child to go out and play in, the powder fresh and unspoiled.

Yet it was so damn cold.

Kietsu had given up asking if she could go out by twelve o'clock, the realization that she wasn't going to play in the snow finally having dawned on her. So she contented herself to play in the sunlight streaming through the large windows in the dinning room while her mother kept an eye on her.

It was like this that Harusame found them; Kietsu dancing through the sunbeams; Gesshoku sitting cross-legged on the floor, one hand rested lightly over her still-flat stomach, a cheerful smile painted across her face.

She watched the little girl as she twirled around in the light, doing some sort of strange dance to which only an innocent child knew the steps. Her kimono whirled around her, her hair whipped around her face. She was smiling; her expression surreal; her movements lilting and spectral.

Gessho had a similar expression on her face as she watched her small child fondly. She loved Kietsu and any one could see that. Harusame's gaze flickered to the side slightly when she saw a movement out of the corner of her eye. There was Kamatari, crossing the room to his wife. He offered her a cup of tea, then settled himself beside her on the floor. She rested her head on his shoulder and, together, they regarded their daughter's performance.

Harusame turned away from the doorway, having seen enough of this loving display to get her mind going. They made such a perfect family; doting father, kind mother, beautiful child and one more on the way. The young woman had always wanted a family like that for herself.

In short, she was jealous.

__

But I can have that…Sojiro and I, we could be a family like that too. Neither of us have any one else. But we have each other…

I think I'm ready now.

Having made this conclusion, she smiled to herself. _Maybe he won't be so nervous, knowing I've made up my mind. Maybe we'll both get over the shyness a little. Maybe…_She started off down the hall in search of Sojiro.

@}--,--'---

The young man in question was pacing the study, his hakama rustling around his ankles as he walked the length of the room, turned and headed back the other way, completing the loop. He was thinking and thinking hard.

__

Harusame loves me. I love her. I want to spend all of eternity with her. But how the hell do I tell her that? An uncharacteristic frown crossed his face. He was so terrible at expressing his feelings for others. But sooner or later…

As he did another lap around the room, his thoughts drifted back to a conversation he'd had an hour or so prior with Kamatari.

__

"Sou, seven years ago, if some one had said you would be where you are now in life, what would you have done?"

He'd looked up, turning his deep blue eyes to the pretty face of his comrade and friend. Kamatari had been strangely content over the past six years; as if Shishio-sama's death had done him well. He hadn't seen him looking the way he did ever. The older man had always put on a cheerful front, but Sojiro knew all too well how much pain was carefully hidden away in his heart.

Kamatari had suffered so much when Shishio was alive. A great burden had been lifted from his heart when Shishio was finally gone. Sojiro knew, for he had watched the unique man who felt himself to be a woman suffer through the heartbreak and humiliation of Shishio's rejection. 

But now…He truly was as happy as he had looked all those times.

"I wouldn't have believed them, Kamatari." The young man answered truthfully, "I would have believed that Shishio-sama would be in charge of Japan by now and we would be working for him still. I never took into account that he would die. Or that I would learn to love like this." He paused for a moment, contemplating the way he had been back then; cold, cruel, ruthlessly killing, all the while disarming people with that innocent smile…"Did you ever think about it?"

"Of course I did. I knew that they day I had to marry Gessho would come eventually and I didn't know what I would do. I loved Shishio-sama then; my heart was his and his alone. But there was always this nagging voice…telling me 'you've got to go back…you promised her…' and I didn't want to listen to it." He was reclined casually in the leather chair at the desk, one leg drawn up beneath him, the silk of his haori falling around him like a cascading waterfall. "I never would have thought I would have a child, let alone be married."

"And another child on the way." Sojiro reminded him, smiling.

The older man blushed lightly, fiddling with the edge of his sleeves. He was proud of his family, glad that he had them, wouldn't trade them for the world. But he wasn't fond of discussing such things with other people. It was a private thing between himself and Gesshoku. Their love life still made him feel awkward and embarrassed, despite how much he enjoyed it. "Yes; and another on the way." He said softly.

There was another silence before Sojiro spoke. "How did you know?"

"How did I know what?"

"That you really wanted to be with Gesshoku-san. How did you know she was the only person you wanted to be with? I mean, Shishio-sama was still on your mind, ne? How did you…?" The question died on his lips and he turned red.

"Sou, you love Harusame. Just ask her to marry you already. I married Gessho because I love her. It's as simple as that. Any one else I would have gone running. But I adore Gessh. I've always loved her…So I had to do it. It would have broken her heart. You don't want to break Harusame's heart." Kamatari rose from the chair, the silk of his clothing rustling as he left Sojiro in the study with his thoughts.

He pushed his dark hair out of his face, causing his bangs to curl out in a strange fashion. "What do I say?" He mused out loud to himself, "How do I ask? 'Harusame, will you marry me…?' Too generic…'Harusame, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife…?' That's a _little _better…" He continued to pace as he spoke to himself.

Little did he know, the object of his affections was currently outside the door.

@}--,--'---

Kietsu fell asleep on the floor in a dwindling patch of sunlight around two o'clock that afternoon. Kamatari gathered her up into his arms with the intent of putting her in her own bed for a nap. Gessho trailed behind him, following him like a lost puppy. She was in a snuggly mood and if the little one was asleep, she would get to spend time with him alone.

She watched, twining a strand of her brown hair around her finger, as he tucked Kietsu in under several blankets, placing her kitsune plush beside her on the bed. _He's a wonderful father…_She smiled, her free hand rising again to her waist. She couldn't have been happier about this baby if she tried. 

He straightened up and turned to leave, stopping when he found her in the doorway. She was looking earnestly up at him, her eyes sparkled behind the lenses of her glasses and her cheeks were flushed. He brushed back her hair, his hand lingering on her cheek, then took her by the arm as led her gently out of the room.

"You're cold, Darling. I don't think you're dressed warm enough." He chided her. Her hand was like ice in his. That worried him. The last thing they needed was for her to get sick when she was pregnant and five days before Kietsu's big day.

"I am a little chilly." She admitted, snuggling closer to him, "Can we go down to the springs? I want to be alone with you…Mama's never in her bath at this time of day."

"Of course." He smiled, bending to capture her mouth with his.

She returned the kiss fervently, her fingers in his hair, pulling his face closer. It had never bothered her that kissing him was like kissing another woman; his features so delicate and feminine, she loved him so deeply that, were he truly a woman, she probably would have loved him anyway.

They went down to the spring, hand in hand. He stripped down immediately, settling himself into the hot water, watching as she undressed. He had quickly learned to appreciate the effort she put into keeping him happy; she was so zealous in her efforts. She pleased him immensely, like he never would have thought she could.

She shed her final article of clothing, revealing slightly tanned skin and her soft belly. Four months their new baby had been growing and now there was something to see for it. She looked at him shyly and their eyes met. He smiled, offering her a hand. "Come here, Darling."

She stepped into the water, sinking down into its warmth, climbing across him so that they were chest to chest. She nuzzled her head under his chin, her arms around him, her lips brushing across his skin. "I love you, Kamatari." She whispered.

He caressed her cheek, brushing back her hair a second time. She was the world to him, the sun and moon and all the stars. He held her close to his chest, hugging her, his heart suddenly heavy and full of sadness. Tears slid down his cheeks, into her hair. "Sumimasen, Koishii. I'm so terribly sorry for everything I've ever done to make you hurt. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve to put up with all this shit. And I don't deserve some one like you."

She looked up, her finger tracing the path of his tears as they ran down his cheeks. She felt safe and comfortable there in his arms, the warm water lapping around them, washing away all of her tension. "Don't cry, Kamatari. I love you, so I forgive you for everything. I forgave you for killing people, forgave you for leaving me to face our wedding alone, forgave you for every little moment you've pined after Shishio." 

He sniffled, nuzzling against her, holding her gently, tears still rolling off his cheeks. "I love you too."

"I never want to hear you say you don't deserve me. Every one deserves happiness and if I make you happy, that makes you deserving of my love. I would do anything for you, anything at all. You're my soul mate, after all."

He smiled at her, touching her damp hair, his fingers running across her wet skin. She felt warm and velvety; her small tummy was soft beneath his fingers. "You're wonderful to me. I'm not used to it, even now after being with you for six years. I'm used to being belittled and rejected and I love you so much for being so good to me."

She said nothing to this; there was nothing to say. She had said it all before and saw no need to say it again. After all, he already knew her heart and soul. So she simply wrapped her arms back around him, holding him tight, her head on his chest once more. "You don't love me because of that." She stated matter-of-factly, "You love me just because."

He ran one finger over her cheek, the last of his tears dripping into the spring, mixing with the silvery water. She knew him so well; knew his every thought. She loved him as a woman; she loved him as a man. She just plain loved him.

That thought made him extremely happy.

He kissed her softly, fighting back the urge to cry again. He still didn't understand a thing about her -Gesshoku was so complicated- and yet he understood it all. There were so many things in his mind; so many emotions and feelings and the only one he was absolutely certain of, after year upon year of doubt, was thus:

To say you loved some one meant nothing. But to actually love them…That was heaven on earth.

@}--,--'---

****

Bleh…So I really don't like that ending, but I really didn't know how else to end this. . There are 5 more days left till Valentine's Day and Kietsu's birthday, which means at least five more chapters. I'll do my best to get them up in a timely fashion; it seems that my horrendous writer's block has gone away finally *cheers*

Until next time…

See ya, Space Cowboy.


	13. You Could Move on This Moment

****

I'm back, Baby! Booya! Yesterday, I should have worked on this. I was quite unproductive…cleaned up the yucky spots on the floor from slushy, salty shoes, wrote a letter and 2 birthday cards. Ate a lot of sunflower seeds…Not much else ^^;;

Anyway, here's da new chapta!

@--,---'---

Harusame froze outside the door. 

Had she heard correctly? Was Sojiro in there practicing how to…? Her face flushed an incredible shade of red and her hands flew up to her mouth. Dear Buddha…He was really going to ask! She wanted to squeal with glee but refrained herself for fear of scaring him off.

So she stood there, her ear pressed up against the door, listening to him talk to himself.

"…I know I don't have anything….Not much at all to offer…But Harusame…I love you…I want to…Forever…" His words drifted out of the room, some of them muffled by the door. It sounded as if he were moving around in there; the words were sometimes louder or softer depending on his proximity to the door.

She listened to him as he continued to practice, sliding silently to the floor and sitting with her back up against the wall. This was too much. She had told Gessho that she wished he'd just get it over with and ask already, but now that it was a possibility…

She was terrified.

Hearing his footsteps approaching the door and the sound of the knob turning, she jumped to her feet and all but ran stealthily down the hall and around a corner, praying all the while that he wouldn't see her. So preoccupied with remaining unnoticed was she that she ran headlong into some one as she rounded the corner.

"Geez, watch where you're going, Harusame!" Sonomi groused as she straightened her clothes. She was still tired from chasing after Kietsu the previous night and her present physical condition put her in a unpleasant state of mind. 

"I…I'm sorry." Harusame blushed profusely as she blushed, "I wasn't paying attention…"

"Well maybe you should!" Came the peevish response.

The younger woman's eyebrows knit together and she frowned. "I have a lot on my mind." She replied defensively, "A lot of things you wouldn't understand." _Like how it feels to know some one is going to propose to you…_

"Oh?" This woke Sonomi up a little. She looked at her friend with interest, hoping Harusame would further explain this comment. Her mind was racing…_What does she mean? Something involving Sojiro, no doubt…I wonder what._

But Harusame just brushed past her, leaving her standing there to ponder.

@--,---'---

Gesshoku had fallen asleep.

Kamatari didn't mind his wife curled up and sleeping on him, per say, but the fact that they were still in the spring when she fell asleep made him slightly uncomfortable. He looked at his fingers. They were shriveled and prune-y. How long had they been there? No clock was kept in the spring and he knew this was because Kumori carried a pocket watch everywhere and it was her private spring.

He sighed, slightly exasperated. He wanted to wake her up, but then, he didn't. In her…condition…it would be best to let her keep sleeping. But he was stiff from sitting the same way for so long.

Shifting slightly, he tried not to wake her. She simply snuggled closer to him, her hand moving down near his waist, resting on his bare abdomen. He blushed lightly, glad she hadn't subconsciously gone any lower. She was allowed access, of course, but, well, he was easily flustered by her, to say the least.

He rearranged her slightly, holding her securely in his arms. She smiled, sighing blissfully, and he felt very content. Nothing made him happier than knowing his wife was happy. 

His wife. Even after five years, that still sounded so odd to him. He was a man no one would have ever expected to have a wife, yet there he was, married, with a daughter, and her pregnant again. How had things turned out like this?

It was all Gesshoku. He would have still been miserable if it weren't for her. Any other girl, he would have stayed hidden. But there was something about Gessho…She allowed him to be whoever he wanted to be. He had decided to make the changes in his life of his own accord; she had never asked him for anything. He was the one who had decided not to run away, he was the one who had realized he needed to change his appearance for Kietsu. 

It was his fault they even had her in the first place.

He distinctly remembered that and it upset him. Gessho had been shy and reserved when it came to the more intimate matters of their relationship. He had to keep reminding himself that she was younger and didn't know what she was doing. But that night…

They had been traveling around and were somewhere in the Tokyo area. It was a chilly, rainy day and both of them were feeling restless. A bath…Gessho had wanted to take a bath. She loved lounging in the tub and he'd asked if he could join her. At first, she'd been shocked, but she had shyly agreed, saying "after all, they _were _married."

One thing had led to another. 

"Mmm…Kamatari…"

He snapped back to the present as she whispered his name, shifting in his arms. His face reddened and he looked down at her. "Did you have a nice nap?" One finger ran across her cheek, stroking it gently, she leaning into the caress. 

"Yeah." She nodded slightly, her brown eyes heavy with sleep. It was then that she noticed his blush. "Did I make you uncomfortable?"

"No…I was thinking about the first time we did this." The scarlet hue spread further across his face. 

"Ah." She grinned, "I remember…I was so shy…" She snuggled against his chest, "I'm a lot different now about it, ne?" 

"Yes." He kissed her damp hair, his hand resting on the small of her back. She was cuddled against his chest, her head rested over his heart. He loved the feel of her in his arms, loved the way it felt to be with some one who truly cared about him. Shishio…there was still a fantasy. But the man had never cared for him. Never, not once. With Gessho, there was no denying the mutual attraction.

She reached up and kissed him.

He smiled.

Then she sat back, stretching, her arms rising from the water. Droplets hung suspended from the damp hair curling around her face and her eyes fell shut. "I'm so relaxed." She said softly. Not having a care in the world…She wished she could stay with him in the present moment for the rest of all time.

He watched her casually, his gaze sliding downward, taking in her soft curves through the silvery-clear water of the spring. She was by far not the most petite, attractive girl he had ever met, but she had a nice body and he knew how to appreciate her. She kept herself in good shape and her skin was always slightly tanned; she spent so much time outside. All those curves…He'd wanted that for himself.

And he had gotten it.

He sank down beneath the warm water, ducking beneath it's glassy surface. There was something exciting about being in the bath with her; something incredibly arousing. He came up before her, drawing her back into his arms, holding her close and kissing her gently. A happy sigh escaped her lips and she settled into his embrace, her arms around him once more. "I love you." She breathed, her cheek up against his.

He nuzzled against her neck. She was so warm; alive; inviting. So in love with him. All of the things Shishio had never been. He couldn't help himself. She made him want her and she didn't even know it. And damned if he didn't enjoy it.

That was the part that scared him the most.

@--,---'---

Harusame had come to the conclusion that the best place for privacy -the best place to think uninterrupted- was in the hot springs. She could relax and let her mind wander, running over and over any and every little detail of her confusing life. 

Currently, Sojiro was the one thing her thoughts kept settling on.

She stole down the path towards Kumori's bathhouse. Gessho had told her that she, Sonomi and Sojiro were allowed to use it whenever they wanted, provided the matriarch herself wasn't there. Kumori kept herself on a tight schedule and the young woman knew she would not run into her at this time of day.

She had _a lot _of thinking to do.

So preoccupied with her dilemma was she, it never occurred to her that she might knock before just entering the small room. 

Had she been thinking clearly, she would not have walked in on such a compromising situation.

Kamatari and Gesshoku were twined around one another, sunken down in the spring. Harusame stared openly for a moment, never having seen anything so shameless in her life. It was hard to tell where one of them began and the other ended; they were a tangle of arms and legs, totally caught up in each other.

Extremely embarrassed for all three of them, Harusame blushed a deep scarlet hue, backing a step away. She couldn't tear her eyes away from them, no matter how much she wanted to. Never before had she seen…

It was then that Gessho realized they weren't alone. "Kamatari…" She whispered, burying her face in his shoulder, "Stop it." He was kissing her neck, his arms around her waist, his hands splayed on her lower back, just above her bottom. She was flat on top of him; their bodies were practically melted together and she wanted to sink down into the water and hide forever at the thought of some one catching them doing the deed. "Stop."

A frown flickered across his face as he wondered why she had suddenly changed her attitude. This was very unlike her, unless…He immediately turned pink. "We're not alone any more, are we Darling?" He whispered into her ear. He sounded as if he would be ill. He felt her head nodding against his neck and he sank down further into the spring, taking her with him until the water came up around both of their chins. "It's not…Kietsu, right?" He prayed to every conceivable god that their small daughter wasn't the one who had found them naked together.

"No…" Her voice was no more than a dry whisper as if it had caught in the back of her throat. "Harusame."

As soon as she said the name, she felt Kamatari stiffen. Harusame finding them there was almost as bad as if it had been Kietsu in his mind. Now he was mortified. What would she think of them? This was not good.

"I…I…I'm really, _really _sorry!" Harusame finally managed to squeak out. She was backed up against the door, her eyes still wide and her expression one of both shock and discomfiture. "I didn't know…I thought…I didn't know you were in here." She stammered quickly, "I'm sorry…" Her face was an incredible shade of red and she was toying ceaselessly with a long lock of her hair.

Both of them just stared at her for a moment, neither one able to say anything. The silence was dreadful as she waited for them to explain in any way possible. So terrified was she, she would have accepted _any _class of explanation, so long as they didn't say they were doing what she _thought _they were doing.

"No, it's our fault." Kamatari finally recovered his ability to speak, "My fault, actually. I shouldn't have let myself get carried away and I apologize to you, Harusame, for having to see something so…immoral. I apologize to you as well, Gessho, for putting you in such a position and embarrassing you."

"It's not your fault." Gessho clung to his arm, trying to hide behind him and keep her bare chest covered. Her face was still flushed and she couldn't look Harusame in the eye, rather, she stared at a point above her head. "I'm as much to blame as you are. Sumimasen, Harusame." Her head bowed in shame, damp hair falling around her face.

Harusame nodded dumbly. Her gaze had come to rest on Kamatari's chest when he had risen from the water. Damn, but that man was nicely built. For some one who was so lost about himself, he had taken good care of his body. His skin was perfect; not a single imperfection, despite all the battles he had participated in, and his muscles finely toned. She had a sudden curiosity to see Sojiro undressed, wondering if his body was as finely tuned, and her blush deepened at her own brazen thoughts.

Kamatari looked at her, his head tipped to one side. An extremely flustered look had just crossed her face and he had a striking suspicion it had nothing to do with either of them. Taking her momentary distraction as an opportunity, he snatched a towel from the edge of the spring and handed it to his wife, who immediately wrapped herself in it, climbed out of the water and went scurrying off in search of her clothes.

Then he grabbed a towel for himself and secured it around his waist. Poor Harusame stood there still, as if she were in shock. No one would know it to look at him, but Kamatari was extremely embarrassed. He was dying on the inside. He felt like such a heal, putting both girls in such an awkward position, even if it hadn't totally been his fault.

He began pulling his clothes back on, wrapping himself in the layers of silk and cotton. He was dressing mechanically, not paying any attention to what he was doing. All he wanted to do was crawl into a hole and die of humiliation. Or maybe hide in bed. 

With Gessho.

The hormones weren't totally gone yet. He frowned, mentally slapping himself for even having that thought. _What the hell in wrong with me? She's already pregnant; we shouldn't be carrying on like this in the first place. And here I am, acting like some kind of crazed animal in heat._

Harusame couldn't help but watch as he pulled on his yukata, covering up that flawless chest. He moved fluidly, even though he was embarrassed and angry with himself; his movements weren't at all jerky like most people's when flustered. He was beautiful, no matter what he did. But he was so surreal in his beauty. She suddenly understood why Gessho had fallen for him in the first place.

Gesshoku appeared then by his side, her gaze still averted to the floor. She had dressed hastily; her clothing was just sort of tossed on. She waited for him to step into his sandals, then clutched his arm once more, her face hidden away in his shoulder.

There was an awkward silence, then Kamatari apologized to Harusame again, who murmured her own vague "I'm sorry" as the man lead his wife from the building. Still standing rooted in the same spot, the young woman could hear more apologies as the couple moved away from the spring. 

She almost laughed.

The two of them were ridiculous sometimes. 

But then, it wasn't really a laughing matter.

@--,---'---

****

So, that scene there in the spring was inspired by my walking into my dorm yesterday afternoon and…yeah. Matt, Drew, a bed…Figure it out yourself. It wasn't anything quite like what I wrote, but walking in and seeing them making out is good fodder for a chapter…

Sorry 'bout the long wait between updates…Inspiration comes and goes. -_-"


	14. You Don't Have to Deny Love

****

Okay, so things were a little weird around here…But they're okay now. 

I guess. 

…I hope. u_u

@--,---'---

"I cannot believe that happened."

It was later that afternoon. Kietsu was playing with Sonomi, so Gesshoku and Kamatari were once again alone. They were in the study, snuggled together in the large, leather chair beside the desk. Gessho was clearly still embarrassed; she had her head on his shoulder, clutching the front of his gi with one hand. Her voice was low; she nestled closer to his neck, trying to hide her lingering embarrassment. "How am I supposed to face Harusame now?"

"Koishii, don't be so upset." Kamatari's hand brushed against her cheek. He hated to see her so flustered, so humiliated. And how would her being worked up affect the baby? Besides, it was all his fault anyway. "Harusame is old enough to understand and handle this in a mature way." He stroked her still-damp hair, enticing her away from his shoulder so that she was looking at him. Her brown eyes were wet with tears behind the lenses of her glasses and she was frowning lightly. "That wasn't your fault, Gessh."

"I shouldn't have let you. I should've told you to knock it off. But I wanted to be close to you so badly." Her hand rose, fingers brushing back his hair, her face coming close to his, kissing his cheek. "I'm shameless when it comes to loving you." She said softly.

"I wouldn't want it any other way." He smiled, hugging her close, "You made a man out of me, Darling."

"I don't want you as a man." She said slowly, drawing back to look at him fully, studying his pretty face. She and she alone saw him as the beautiful person he truly was; no one else understood his free spirit. "I don't want you as a woman. I want you only as you."

He felt his heart swell with love for her. She was so good to him. He'd seen her merciless in her anger, her jealousy and her wrath. She held grudges and she held them for a long time. But she had loved him unceasingly, forgiving his every fault. That only made her all the more appealing to him.

His mouth found hers. "Never leave me." He whispered as he kissed her.

"I won't." Her gaze swept across his face, taking in those delicate features. He was being very serious and she knew it. There was a certain depth to the untamed beauty of Honjô Kamatari that no one else was aware of. This was the part of him she had first fallen in love with all those years ago. "I love your imperfections; I love your weaknesses." She took his face in her hands, their foreheads together, "Nothing you could do could ever cause me to leave you."

"I've left you twice already and I broke your heart both times." His velvety eyes met hers, "And I swear on my life, I will never do it again." Her eyes, that watery brown, held nothing but pure trust and true love. She was a bundle of raw emotion; nothing but feelings twined together in the form of a person. This was the beauty of his wife; the pure, unblemished view of sentiment that could be seen just by looking in her eyes.

A smile graced her lips, curving them upwards and brightening her features. She was well aware that he would be with her always. He wouldn't leave when she was carrying his child. He would never leave her period. He loved her; she loved him. Their bond just ran too deep for one to simply abandon the other. She felt, deep in her heart, that even death would not separate them. He would never dream of leaving.

…Would he?

Now she was worried.

"How are you feeling?" After a brief silence, he spoke again, "You doing all right?" He would be lost if anything happened to her. His mother-in-law, his uncle, even his own mother…they didn't understand him at all. 

"I'm fine, Kamatari." She looked at him pointedly, wondering when he would realize that her being pregnant didn't make her breakable. She sighed, resting a hand over her flat stomach. "The baby is also fine."

"Don't give me that annoyed look." He frowned slightly, "I just want both of you healthy."

She ignored him. "Do you think this baby will be a boy? Or another girl?" She asked as she patted her belly, "Which do you want?"

Kamatari regarded her for a moment, watching her preoccupation with the child growing inside of her. "It doesn't matter, as long as you're both healthy." His hand rested on hers, fingers twining together. She smiled at him, her eyes bright and sparkling. She had matured over the years, calming down just a little, and she wasn't as loud in her excitement.

"You must want one more than the other." She prodded him.

He thought for a moment. "I suppose I would like another girl. I wouldn't be a very good role model for a boy, would I?" He answered honestly.

She smiled affectionately, squeezing his hand. "I suppose not. But you have a while to worry about it still. I don't even have a belly yet."

A soft smile crossed his face and he closed his eyes, thinking. He knew she was sensitive about her weight and wasn't thrilled with the idea of "getting fat." That had been her least favorite part about having Kietsu. Now she had just started getting back into shape and she was pregnant again. He would have to make sure and treat her special when she started to expand, letting him know that she was just as beautiful to him. _Not that I don't treat her special already…_

He held her to him, drawing her into his arms, enveloping her in his warmth. She snuggled up to him, her head under his chin. She sighed happily, her fingers playing across his skin where it was exposed in the V of the collar on his gi. He shivered with pleasure, kissing her hair, tightening his grip around her. "I love you, Gessh."

A grin crossed her face. Like she didn't know.

@--,---'---

Harusame looked at Sojiro.

They were sitting in the dining room, face to face across the chabudai. Sojiro was pouring tea into the delicate china, not noticing the look on Harusame's face. He was smiling; blissfully unaware that Harusame had overheard all of his muttering and rehearsing. She knew he would chicken out if he knew she had heard everything, but she was twitchy and nervous over the situation.

Would he try to propose now??

She twisted her sleeve around. Her hands were in her lap and she was fidgeting. What would she say? What would he say? Would he get nervous and just blurt something out? What if it came out all wrong? She could feel her face getting red just thinking about it.

"Would you like some tea, Harusame?" 

She snapped back to attention at his question. "Oh, yes, please. Thank you, Sou." She mumbled, blushing deeper.

"Are you okay?" He looked at her curiously, the smile never leaving his face. She looked confused about something and he wondered what.

"Oh, I was just thinking…" _I need a lie…I need something to tell him…I need…WAIT! I saw the most embarrassing thing in the world today. I can use that as an excuse for my present facial expression. _"Before, I went down to take a soak in the spring and…"

"And?" He prompted.

"And I kinda…walked in on Kamatari and Gesshoku. In the spring. Together."

There was an awkward silence for a moment. 

Harusame's blush spread from the bridge of her nose until it consumed her whole face. What would Sojiro have to say about _that_? 

His face reddened slightly. THAT was embarrassing. Mighty embarrassing. No wonder she was so flustered looking. "Oh. Oh my." He stammered, blushing more as he imagined the scene, "What did you do?"

"I kinda froze. And mumbled I was sorry a lot. And all of us were embarrassed. Dear Buddha, I was so mortified…" She looked away, pulling up one of her tabi. Her embarrassment wasn't totally gone and she couldn't bring herself to look at him. "I was humiliated for them too. They don't seem to care what they do together. They're always so…open with one another. I kinda wish I was like that, no da?"

"I know what you mean. They're so in love… It makes me happy to see it, but makes me kind of…" Here he paused, a strange expression on his face. It was almost as if he were trying to frown, but found it physically impossible. "…Jealous as well. I wish I were so free with my feelings as they are. Kamatari used to hide away a lot of his feelings, similar to how I do. And Gessho used to just yell and cry a lot. But both of them…" Another pause, "Both of them have become so capable of just talking about it now. I wish I could do the same."

She smiled at him. "Sou, I know it's been really hard for you, but you're doing so much better now. I've actually seen you scared and angry recently."

His sapphire eyes met hers. "Yes; this is true. I have changed quite a bit. But we have all been changing, Harusame. All of us are very different now. Look at Kamatari, for example. Who would have ever thought he would be with a woman? And that they would have a child? Or that he would even get married? Life goes on; things change." He paused, sighing lightly, "But sometimes I feel like I'm still the same."

"You are the same." She looked at him earnestly, "But you're different too."

"How can I be the same and different?" He blinked, not quite understanding what she meant. She had a tendency to say some things he didn't understand at times; some things which made him wonder. 

"You're the same because you're still you. But you're a different you, Sojiro. You get sad and angry and you don't always smile any more. Sometimes, I see things in you I've never seen before. I see you get nervous. I see you get upset. All you used to do was smile. Even when you were angry. Even when you wanted to cry…" She stared at her hands where they were folded in her lap, unable to look at him. Once again, a blush was rapidly spreading across her face and she wasn't even sure why. _These are things every one notices about him…Why am I so embarrassed?_

He smiled fondly at her. She always shied away like that when they were talking, as if she didn't want to look at him. She was so shy around him at times, so timid and bashful, and he thought it was positively adorable. He wanted to take her and hold her and tell her she didn't have to be afraid, but, well, _he _was afraid.

"I've been thinking a lot…" She broke the silence, still looking at her fingers as if they were the most interesting thing on the face of the earth, "I've been thinking about what we keep talking about…And…"

His eyes widened. What was she going to say? She'd been thinking about what they talked about _and_?! And what?? His heart began to race within his chest. What would he do if she said no? What would he say? Was she expecting him to propose _right now_?? His mouth went dry and his palms began to sweat. Everything he'd thought of earlier went flying out of his mind and he stared at her stupidly. "Harusame…I-"

"Haru! Haru! Sou!" 

__

Saved by Kietsu. Both his brain and his heart seemed to start working again as the little girl came running over to them. He looked up at her, smiling. "Konnichi wa, Little One." 

She beamed back. Sonomi had trailed along behind her into the room; they were looking for a snack and there were Harusame and Sojiro, having tea. "Me too?" She asked hopefully.

"You too what?" His smile widened. She was such a charming child. 

" 'M hungry. I can have tea?" 

"Of course you can."

"YAY!" She plopped herself unceremoniously down in his lap, still smiling at him, "Will you play with me, Sou?"

He looked at Harusame. She looked both amused and relieved and he suspected whatever she had wanted to say would not be said until later. "After we have tea I'll come play with you." He patted her on the head, "That way Sonomi can have a break."

"Goody!" 

Sonomi sank down beside Harusame at the low table. She looked exhausted. Never did she want to ever have children. This kid was a royal terror and she never seemed to run out of energy. She placed her elbows on the table, her chin in her hands. _I just want to go back to bed…_

Harusame looked at Sojiro and Kietsu happy together in their current arrangement. It looked so natural, seeing Sojiro so content with the little girl. He would make a wonderful father someday. After his tragic childhood, she knew he would never allow any child of his to suffer. He was still a child at heart himself and always willing to play with any little one who asked. _Our kids will be so cute and - What am I thinking!? _Fortunately for the young woman, Sojiro was too preoccupied with Kietsu to notice the scarlet hue of her face. He was chatting with the little girl as he poured her tea, smiling all the while. _I guess it's okay for my mind to wander then…_

She settled her chin on one hand, watching as the two interacted. Kietsu was one for asking questions and Sojiro was patiently answering them as best he could. Some of her inquiries were causing a bemused smile to cross the face of Sonomi, but there was one which made the older of the two woman crack up.

"Sou," The little girl looked seriously up at the young rurôni, "Why don't you ever kiss Haru?"

@--,---'---

****

Dun dun dun! Mild cliff-hanger! This should get interesting… XD

Happy birthday me! And thankies to all the FF.net people who left me b-day messages, 'specially both my sissies! *hugs to all*


	15. Do You Feel in Me Anything Redeeming?

****

Blargh; Valentine's Day…February 14 is no longer Valentine's Day. By order of the Chaotic one and the Queen of Fluff, it shall from this day forth be known as "Bishonen Day."

Be sure to let your bishies know you love them.

*runs off for bishie glompage*

Blargh…I was hoping to have this fic done by now -.-

@--,---'---

There was a long awkward silence.

Red-faced and mortified, Sojiro stared at Kietsu. She was looking at him eagerly, awaiting an answer to her innocently-asked question. She wondered why he wasn't answering. It had been a simple enough inquiry; one which should not have required much thought on his part, yet he had not responded. 

She blinked. In her mind, the question was logical. Her mother and father were always kissing one another. This was because they loved one another. Kietsu, although only a small child, was well aware of the mutual affection between Sojiro and Harusame. So why did they never kiss one another? 

Bored with waiting for his answer, she climbed out of his lap and went around the table to Sonomi.

Still he sat there, having not even noticed the absence of the child, his face a brilliant crimson hue. 

__

Why don't you ever kiss her? Oh, that's right; you're a coward. Grow up, Sojiro. Grow up and get over this damn shyness. How are you supposed to ask her to marry you if you can't even give her a kiss? My God, you're pathetic. Get a grip on yourself, boy. Just do it already! 

All right; all right! I'm going…I'll do it. I-

"Harusame, will you marry me?" He blurted out. 

Both women snapped to attention, looking at him with wide eyes. A slow smile spread across Sonomi's face and her eyes lit up with glee. Finally! It had taken him long enough. Five damn years was plenty of time.

Harusame looked like she was about to pass out. Sojiro clapped a hand over his mouth. _Did I really just ask her that!?_ His gaze darted from one woman to the other, taking in first the joyous expression of Sonomi, then the shocked, terrified one of Harusame. He wanted to crawl under the table and die right then and there. _She hasn't said anything…_Inwardly, he began to panic. Was she in shock? _Harusame…God dammit; I've screwed up!_

Kietsu began to tug on Harusame's sleeve. "Haru? Haru, Sou asked you a question…" She said pointedly, jerking her head in the young man's direction. She didn't know what "marry" meant, but she did know that Harusame was being incredibly rude, ignoring Sojiro like that.

Harusame's mouth opened. Then it shut again. She stared at Sojiro, her brown eyes wide in disbelief. Had she heard correctly? Had he really just asked her to marry him? What kind of proposal was that? Where had all the nice, romantic stuff gone? And what was she supposed to do? Dive across the table and into his arms? Inner-Harusame was screaming with joy -_He asked! He asked! He asked!!_- but she couldn't seem to make her mouth form any words. All she could do was sit there and stare at him, her face getting more and more red with each passing second.

"I…I know I don't have much to offer." Sojiro stammered, filling the silence that had enveloped them, "I don't have much money and I have no family. There's not even really anything I'm good at. The most I can offer you is myself. I love you, Harusame, and I want to be with you forever." He finished in a rush, his goofy smile lighting his face and making him look even more anxious. 

Another long silence followed.

Harusame's mouth opened again and this time she managed to squeak out an "um." She brushed back her hair, blinked, brushed back her hair again. "Sojiro…I…I…Oh…I don't care what you have and don't have. I love you too and it doesn't matter if you're rich or poor or anything. Of course I'll marry you…"

"But?" His heart sank at the hesitance in her voice. Why had she just trailed off like what? What was going on in her mind?

"But nothing." She smiled shyly, "I accept. That's all."

Relief washed over him. The grin grew wider and even goofier as he scratched the back of his neck. "Really?"

"Of course really. I wouldn't lie about that." Her smile grew. He was so cute when he was blushing. "We have a home and you have a job. We can have a good life together, Sou."

"So dêsu; we can." He felt extremely content on top of his relief. This was all he wanted in life; to be free and happy with Harusame by his side. He loved her deeply and knew she loved him in return. "Anô, Harusame, can I kiss you now?" He blushed lightly, his deep blue eyes fixed upon her pretty face.

She nodded slightly, her nose and cheeks tinged pink. "You may."

He leaned across the table, kissing her tenderly, her lips soft against his. His kiss was just as shy as it had been under the moonlight that first night, just as incredibly innocent. Harusame fleetingly thought about Kamatari and Gessho. She had seen the way they kissed -their passionate hot spring embraces- and she wondered how long it would be before Sojiro kissed her like that.

@--,---'---

Gesshoku yawned.

She and Kamatari had been in the office for a long time, looking over one of her mother's account books and oh it was boring work. How could Kumori stand to look at that thing on a regular basis? No wonder she was always so bitter and angry, if she had to deal with this. And poor Kamatari…Kumori wanted him in charge of the springs when she was dead? It would drive him mad. 

This would not due. 

This would not do at all. The whole business rightfully belonged to Nisshoku anyway; she was the older of the twins. She also had a better head for something like this and far more business sense than either her sister or her husband. So why had Kumori…?

It was because Nissho had never married. Gessho cursed her parents who hadn't found a husband for her sister. Why was she so special as to be the one who was married? She had never wanted it. Nisshoku would have been much better suited for the job. But she was relieved that they hadn't decided to marry Kamatari and Nissho; it would have just killed her.

"Can we please stop now?" She whined, drawing one hand up to stifle a second yawn. Any more and she would die of boredom. Never one for math, all the numbers and figures in the book were making her head pound.

"Hai." Kamatari's voice held relief as he answered her. He hated this as much as she did; maybe even more so. He hated the thought that he would someday be in charge of all of this, but he suspected there was nothing else he could do. Kumori wanted him to run the Aoiroten-onsan. His mother wanted him to run the Aoiroten-onsan. Someday, it would belong to Kietsu, or possibly the new baby, if the new baby was a boy. 

"I don't see why Mama doesn't want Nissho to take over here. She's smarter than both of us and she's older than me. The place should be hers." Gessho sighed as she shut the leather-bound book, leaning back against Kamatari's chest. They were still sharing the chair; she was on his lap and he had his arms around her, his chin rested on her shoulder. 

"I don't know, Darling…Nissho's not all she seems to be. There's much more to her than meets the eye." Kamatari worried about the older twin. He'd recognized something in her; something he hadn't seen in a long time. She had wild, staring eyes. She had a strong urge to fly. But nowhere could she fly. 

He knew exactly how she felt.

"Are you saying my sister isn't capable of running the hot springs?" Gessho twisted around to look him in the eye. This was new and interesting. Nisshoku had always seemed far more capable of it than Gesshoku felt.

"I'm saying that the way she is now, she's not capable of running the hot springs."

"What does _that _mean?"

"Come now, Koishii. You have to have seen it in her, that lost, desperate look. Every time I see your sister, she looks more withdrawn; more bewildered. I don't think she can go on much longer if she doesn't find what she's looking for in her life." He touched her cheek, caressing the smooth skin with his thumb, "I see in her what I used to feel myself."

She stared at him a moment, taking in all of his past sorrows; all of the sadness hidden in his rich brown eyes, then she fell into his embrace, her head under his chin. "I know. I know my sister is lonely. I know she's confused. I know that's why she doesn't come home. But I love her and I know she would be way better at this than us. She just needs to get her life on track. I was like that for a long time too, Kamatari."

"Iie…You were never so confused." He kissed her hair, "You knew exactly what -or should I say who?- you wanted."

A grin crossed her face. "True. I wanted you and only you. I would've wanted you even if you were a woman." Her arms snaked around his neck, her fingers twining through the short locks of his hair.

"You know…When I left you the first time, when you were little, I didn't want to. I wanted to take you with me. Mama wanted me to be one thing. My uncle wanted me to be another. Your mother expected me to be like my father. But you…You were the only person who loved me unconditionally." A soft smile crossed his face at the fond memories of a smaller version of Gessho running to him, hugging him, telling him she loved him. He looked down at her, still able to see that child in her eyes. "It was so hard to leave you here."

"You came back…That's all that matters." She informed him, "I waited so long for you…And you didn't let me down. You said you would come back and you did." She didn't mention all the years of sadness; all the days she spent as a child staring at the front gate of the spring, watching, waiting. She had waited faithfully for him to come home until she and Nisshoku had left after seven years. 

"I don't break promises, Koishii." His fingers tipped her chin upwards, capturing her mouth with his, telling her he loved her without saying a single word.

"I know." She whispered as the kiss ended. This is why she continued to trust him. He had never lied to her in all the years they'd known one another. _How did it happen like this? How did I ever get so lucky?_

"Now, who all did you invite here for the little lady's birthday?" He asked her curiously. He wondered how much of a crowd there would be on Valentine's Day and how little time he would get to spend alone with her. He didn't really like to admit it much, but he loved to be with her.

"Well, your mama and your uncle and my sister, of course, and you got Sonomi, Harusame and Sou here. I also told Misao that she, Aoshi and Aoi should come by so the girls can see each other. That's it. There's really no one else to invite. But that's plenty for Kietsu to be happy. I am still worried though…She'll be so upset if Nisshoku doesn't come home."

"She'll manage." He assured her, "And we're going to tell her about this little one on her birthday?" He patted her belly, causing her to giggle.

"Mm-hmm; it'll be a good gift for her. But I don't think she'll understand why she has to wait to get a sister or brother. She'll want the baby right away. She'll want to know where her sister is." Her hand folded over his, a smile on her face. _Baby, know that we love you already…_

He grinned, knowing his wife was right. Kietsu wouldn't understand. She would just keep asking where the baby was no matter how many times they explained. But that was half the fun of having a toddler, wasn't it. "Do you remember, the day after we got married, when you asked me if I was happy?"

"Yeah?"

"And I told you of course I was happy…"

"What about it?" She looked up at him, her eyes full of curiosity. Where was he going with this?

"I didn't know what happiness was then." His smile softened and he touched her cheek again, pushing back her hair, pulling her closer to him, "I was so stupid back then…If I thought I was happy then, what am I now?"

"Still happy." She buried her face in his shoulder, "You and I and our children…We're all happy together. Thank you for giving me a chance…For loving me and coming back to me."

"I will always come back to you. I-"

"Mama! Papa!" Kamatari was interrupted when Kietsu burst into the room, "Sou asked Haru to stay with him forever and ever and they're gonna be happily ever after like all o' us!" She beamed, wriggling with excitement.

"What?" Gessho pulled back from her husband to regard their small daughter, "Slow down, Sweetie."

"Sou asked Harusame to marry him, finally." 

The couple looked up. Sonomi was leaned against the doorframe, a smug expression on her face. "He just blurted it out and it was really awkward, but she accepted." Her complacency became a cheerful smile and she flashed them a peace sign. "Victory for all!"

The two smiled. Everything had worked out perfectly.

@--,---'---

****

Sakura Butterfly: You were my 100th reviewer. Kudos to you! *tosses you a Sojiro plushie*


	16. I Believe In a Celebration

****

Well now…It's been a while, ne? Like, two whole weeks! Have you all died of boredom yet? I know you've been *dying* to read my update…

Sorry about my long absence. I've been working away at something else for a bit of time. 

Did every one check out that link at the bottom of my profile? Violet Ice is *cough* a fantastic writer!! Make sure you run off to read _Lessons Well Learned_. She too understands the depth of Kamatari…

@--,---'---

February 14th

Little children seem to have an internal alarm clock set to go off earlier on days that are more special to them than normal days.

Around the time the sun would be dragging itself over the horizon, Kietsu burst into her parents' room, throwing herself in the midst of their bedding and awaking them both.

"Today? Today?? _Today?!_" She bounced excitedly, patting her father's face with her small hands.

Groaning and rubbing his eyes, Kamatari sat up, his hair falling all around his face, flipping out in strange places. It was cold in the room, again, and the sun was just barely making its presence known. Gesshoku had burrowed deeper under the blankets at the disruption and all he wanted to do was crawl back under there with her.

But that was virtually impossible, seeing as he had a small, excited child crawling into his lap.

"Yes, Sweetie, today is your birthday." He smiled at her, drawing her into his arms, where she snuggled up to his chest.

"I'm this many now!" She proudly held up three fingers, her eyes dancing with happiness.

"And how many is that?" He asked patiently, knowing she knew but asking anyway.

"Three!" She giggled, "Is Mama hiding?"

"Why don't you crawl under there and get her to come out?" A mischievous smile crossed the man's face. If he had to be up this early, so did she. They did _everything _together.

"Daijoubu**.**" Kietsu's smile mirrored his own as she crawled under the blankets, poking at her mother. "Up! Up! My birthday, Mama!" Her voice was muffled by the blankets.

"I'm awake…" Came Gesshoku's voice, soon followed by the young woman herself. She emerged looking rumpled and weary, her eyes bleary. She yawned, pushing her hair from her eyes, looking at her husband, who simply smiled nonchalantly in return.

"Good morning to you too." He teased.

She stuck her tongue out at him; ever the child. "So, it's somebody's birthday today, is it?" She asked casually.

Kietsu poked her head out from under the blankets, the thick fabric framing her cherubic face. "Mine! My birthday! Me! Me! Me!"

"Now," Gessho glanced from the child to her father, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, "Isn't there something you said you wanted for your birthday?"

Kietsu thought for a moment, one finger in her mouth. Then she beamed up at her mother. "Baby!" She exclaimed.

Her parents smiled. Kamatari's hand found its way into Gessho's. "Tell her, Koishii."

"Papa and I are going to have a baby, Kit." Gessho imparted, "In the summer, you're going to be a big sister."

"Summer? But it's my birthday now!" A small frown crossed the child's face, "I wanna baby now!"

"Sweetness," Her father pulled her into his arms, "It doesn't work quite like that. The baby needs to grow some more inside Mama before it's ready to have a birthday."

"Baby's in Mama?" Kietsu's eyebrows went up. This was intriguing and she looked at Gessho. "You eat the baby??"

Gesshoku laughed. "No, Kietsu. I didn't eat the baby. When a Mama and Papa want to have a baby, this is what it's like. See, the baby stays in Mama's tummy until it's big enough to be born."

"Baby's in there right now?" The little girl poked at her mother's stomach. Questions seeped through her mind. How did a baby fit in there? How did it get there in the first place? How did it get out? 

"Hai." Her mother nodded.

"And I hafta wait till summer?" 

"Hai."

"Awww…" She pouted.

"Hey there, don't be pouting." Kamatari lifted her into the air, "It's your birthday. We're going to have a party."

"YAY!" She hugged him around the neck, her excitement growing. She loved anything that involved food and lots of people. She knew she would get to see Aoi -her best friend- and she was thrilled. "C'mon! C'mon Papa…Help me find somethin' pretty to wear!"

"All right." He leaned over to kiss Gessho, "Happy Valentine's Day, Darling." Then he rose to his feet, swinging the little girl into his arms. "Let's get you all dolled up, Kiddo."

Gessho smiled as she watched them exit the room. 

Then she snuggled down under the blankets to go back to sleep.

@--,---'---

Kumori watched as her granddaughter bounced around the dinning room, her sea-green kimono flapping around her ankles. The child's energy was unceasing and the matriarch couldn't help but wonder if her daughter's second child would be like that also. Kietsu was a lot like Gesshoku had been at that age; wild, free, unconcerned with the big picture, focusing only on what was thrilling in her own little world.

"Aoi! Aoi, come look! Look; look!" The birthday girl was dragging her friend all around the house, showing off this or that or anything that was different since the other girl had last been there. "C'mon…Obasan!" Having spotted her other grandmother, Kietsu went scampering across the room, leaving Aoi wide-eyed and staring. 

Aika smiled down at her granddaughter, that little girl who looked so much like her son. She couldn't have been happier with the way her son's life had turned out; he had a wife who loved him, a child who worshipped him, a nice place to live. But most important of all, he was happy. 

When he had returned home, she had feared for him, wondering what would become of him due to his…uniqueness. How was she to know that his bride loved him more than life itself? How was she to know they were already the best of friends, that they had been living together for a year, that Gesshoku worshipped the ground he walked on? Of course she was afraid for him.

But it had all worked out in the end.

She lifted Kietsu into her arms for a hug. "Happy birthday, little one."

"Domo arigato, Obasan." Kietsu hugged her back, wriggling excitedly, her brown eyes sparkling with glee.

"There's the birthday girl." Kamatari came along, taking Kietsu from his mother's arms and into his own. He looked at Aika, taking in her worn features, dulled after years of worrying and wondering what had happened to him and where he had been. She was smiling softly, her eyes lit with pride, and every time he saw that look on her face it made him feel bad for causing her to worry so much. "Mama, I have something important to tell you." He set Kietsu down and she ran off again, "Gessho and I are going to have another baby in the summer."

"That's wonderful, Dear." A pleased smile graced Aika's well-worn features. There had always been a question in the back of her mind - Why didn't they already have more children? It wasn't lost on her, the way they looked at one another; the way they acted around each other. Why -after five years- were they only now having a second baby? "I'm happy for you."

"Arigato, Mama. We're happy too." He grinned, looking over his shoulder at his wife, who hadn't stopped moving since the moment the Shinomori family had arrived. She was a bundle of excitement, flittering around the house, fussing over this and that. Nobody loved company than Gesshoku and, when people came visiting, everything had to be just so.

Sonomi glided silently through the dinning room over to where Sojiro and Harusame had settled themselves in a corner. The older of the two woman was sure the younger hadn't stopped blushing at all in the five days since she'd become engaged and it didn't seem that the rose hue tingeing her cheeks would vanish anytime soon. "So, are you telling every one else today?" She asked, lazily pushing her long hair back over her shoulder.

Sojiro looked at Harusame, which only caused her to blush deeper and him to smile cutely. He scratched the back of his head, looking back over at Sonomi. "I suppose the only ones here who don't know already are Shinomori-san and Misao-san. It really wouldn't be of any concern to Kamatari's mother or uncle."

"Okay then." Sonomi straightened up, looking around the room for either Aoshi or Misao. Aoshi was sitting at a corner table, looking detached from the crowd and drinking tea, Aoi seated in his lap. Misao was just about to sit and join him, but Sonomi waved to her, calling her attention away. "Oi, Misao!" She beckoned the other woman over.

"Sonomi!" Harusame grabbed her sleeve, "What are you doing? I'll tell her when I'm ready!"

"Oh, relax. If we wait till you're ready, no one will ever tell her." Sonomi's eyes rolled heavenward, "You're engaged. Act happy about it."

"I am happy about it! I just don't want _you_ making a scene. You do have tendencies to over exaggerate things, you know." Harusame's arms folded across her chest and she glared defiantly at her friend.

"I do not. And I'm just spreading the good news."

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on who's view it was looked at from), Misao was waylaid by Gesshoku as she crossed the room to the trio. They could see Gessho's hands flying as she exclaimed over something, then Misao burst into a grin and began hugging her friend. Releasing Gessho from her clutches, she ran back across the room to Aoshi, where she began telling him something, pointing excitedly in Gessho's direction.

"Guess she told Misao-san her own good news." Sojiro commented, feeling a little relieved. He and Misao got along just fine, but at times he couldn't help but wonder what went on in that mind of hers. She was so blunt and had a habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Both she and Harusame could be very stubborn and the last thing any of them needed was an argument in the midst of Kietsu's birthday party.

Sonomi shrugged, a look of slight disappointment on her face. "I'll just tell 'er later then." She waved slightly at the two as she wandered off in search of somewhere she could stir up more trouble. "And you can thank me for all of this later too."

"We can WHAT?" Harusame glowered, jumping up from her seat in order to demolish her friend, only to be jerked back down by Sojiro, who shook his head slightly. 

"Don't let her get to you." Smiling shyly, he pulled her into his embrace to keep her from springing up again. She stayed perfectly still, her head pressed against his heart, its steady beat pulsating through her mind, calming her, soothing her, as he buried his face in her hair. "She was the one that made the arrangements for us to come here, after all." 

"Yeah, I guess so…" Harusame's arms wrapped around Sojiro, "But I would have happened eventually, whether or not she had a hand in it, ne?"

"Of course." He spoke into her hair, a smile playing across his face, "It just would have taken much longer." In a way, he was glad Sonomi had intervened and helped to push things along. If it weren't for her constant prodding, it would have taken forever for him to work up the nerve to propose. He wasn't about to tell Harusame, but he probably would wind up thanking their friend.

The party atmosphere and all its gaiety continued on into the late afternoon; everything went smoothly with no disruptions. Kietsu and Aoi were happy playing with one another and the two little girls fell asleep in their respective fathers' laps. Aoi cuddled up in Aoshi's arms, cradled in his lap, clutching one of his large hands in both of hers, while Kietsu buried her face in Kamatari's chest, her arms wrapped around one of his. 

Misao and Gesshoku were chatting amiably with one another, each every now and then smiling at their significant other. They both found it incredibly amusing, the fact that neither of their husbands were men any one would have ever pictured married or with small children climbing in their laps. Kamatari was stroking Kietsu's back, staring off into space, as his mother told him all the latest gossip from Kyoto. Aoshi was listening politely to his wife and her friend, the expression on his face as stony as ever, almost as if he didn't even realize the little girl was asleep in his lap. The others were gathered around the table, engaged in conversation of their own.

The pleasant din was shattered, however, when a familiar empty voice echoed down the hall. "Mother, I'm home."

Kumori and Gesshoku's heads snapped up at the sound of Nisshoku's voice down the hall. There was no mistaking that it was her; she had a distinctly dark, rich voice. Only…There was something different about it. She sounded almost…content.

Both mother and daughter rose from their seats and hurried out to the front room of the springs. There indeed was Nisshoku, looking a lot more at peace with herself than any one had ever seen her. A trace of a smile was apparent both in her eyes and on her lips and another woman followed close at her heals as she embraced her mother and sister.

"You made it back!" Gessho felt like crying as she wrapped her arms around Nissho. Even the feel of her twin was different, as if something had drastically altered the way she was. The younger twin looked over her sister's shoulder at the other woman. She was pretty, with her long hair bound up in a braid and pinned to her head, and tall, her willowy form draped in wine colored silk. _I wonder who she is…_

"I had to come back." Came Nisshoku's serious reply. "Kietsu would never forgive me otherwise." She pulled away, studying Gessho. "You look well. Put on a little weight, but well."

"You never miss a thing, do you?" The same old Gesshoku; her usual wide grin flashed across her face, "Kamatari and I are having another baby in the summer." 

"Congratulations, baby sister." A hint of a smile brightened the woman's dark features, and she indicated the other woman, who had held back from the reunion. "This is my…friend, Totanno Kurushimi. Kurushimi, this is my mother and my sister, Gesshoku. I hope you don't mind that I brought her along."

"No, not at all." Gessho smiled warmly, "The more the merrier. And Kietsu will be so happy to have another new friend. And that you came back for her, Nissho."

"That's why I came. Now where is she? I would have expected her to be the first to come running."

"She wore herself out already. She's asleep in Kamatari's lap. But she'll be so excited to see you…"

Feeling even happier, Gesshoku led the way back to the dinning room and the party. She felt like dancing with glee. Everything had worked out so well. There was a wedding in the works, a baby on the way and now Nisshoku was home. She couldn't have been happier.

@--,---'---

****

Blah…Whatdya know, another craptacular ending. . 

I really like this story, but I am sooooo sick of it, if you know what I mean. I just want it to end already. So there will be an epilogue and that's it. Look for more soon(?) with a wedding a and a baby…

If ya wanna know about Kurushimi and Nisshoku and their *cough* relationship and haven't already read it, check out _Sunshine and Shadow_, my original fiction posted at fiction press.com under the pen name Ameagari.

That's all I have to say about that u_u


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